Cho and me enjoying my entrance into the ER
Insertion of the tube into my lung...Cho enjoys it
Jon enjoying the moment...
Little Tokyo before the 2nd collapse
Dinner before going to the ER
I will be brief. There is no possibility for me to explicate what went on in the past few weeks in this blog.
Going back to the previous entry...I was in a state of confusion. Why had my lung collapsed and how will I respond? I responded by residing back into my comfort zone and acting as though nothing had ever happened. As a result, God wanted to make sure that I learn and develop as he sees fit, and in his love, my lung collapsed a second time.
For 11 days, I was hospitalized at UCLA Santa Monica hospital and experienced a medley of emotional, physical, and spiritual episodes. First of all, I have to recognize the wonderful nurses who watched over me (baths, bathroom trips, food, medication, encouraging words). Nurses run hospitals. During my stay at the hospital, I was met with an unexpected outpouring of love from my church community, friends, and family. Despite the constant encouragement and community, my mind and body continued to suffer to the point that I wish that nobody I know has to go through the same thing. The tube inside of me linking me to the outside world made every movement painful, every trip to the bathroom tedious, eating unattractive, and sanity unattainable.
Though my stay in the hospital was quite cathartic physically and mentally, I am quite thankful for everything that has happened. Appreciation for life, breath, and the environment around me has grown exponentially. My response to a second chance at living inundates with full appreciation and vitality towards the present as well as what is to come. Discipline will continue, and I will gratefully accept it.
The future is bright. The present is just as bright. Pursue your goals in full acknowledgement that despite whatever you do, God's will is certain to govern your life...many times through the incessant and innumerable variables that are not in your control.
With a 10-15% chance of re-occurrence in my left lung, I am left uncomfortable and without control over what may happen in the future...and that is why I will live.
