A Break in my Saturday

Walking in...

Japanese style house!

Pond with huge catfish! And little children.

Path...

Inside the Boddy House! Cute typewriter.

There is actually a lake right there...looks better from the bench I was sitting on.

Poison oak, for anyone who is curious.

I kinda went off the path (not on purpose!) and ended up at the border of the gardens (you can see the fence).

Railroad!!

Ooo...waterfall.

Really nice area...maybe have a wedding here?

The magical train!

Cool picture eh?

Finished with some cherry blossoms.

So, I decided to take a short trip to a local gem in La Canada Flintridge. I've been here 3 times in my elementary school days, and once in 8th grade when my grandmother visited from Korea. So where did I go? Descanso Gardens! This time I went by myself, and was probably the only guy in his 20's walking around solo. All around me were young and old couples, families, and girls enjoying the smell of Spring. And then there was me. I really enjoyed sitting when I wanted (almost every 10 minutes) and going off on paths that didn't really seem they were supposed to be taken. Sparing you of too many details, I would recommend anyone to visit Descanso Gardens and to really explore what it has to offer.

Basketball time!

For those of you who are following sports, the baseball season has begun, March Madness and fantasy basketball have finished.

This blog entry is dedicated to my recent fantasy basketball and March Madness experiences.

1) Fantasy Basketball

For those of you who don't know, I take pride in the fact that I often make very few moves during the season out of faith in those I drafted, even in the face of injuries to my players. However, I rejected my philosophy of loyalty in the final week, and paid the price. Over the past 2 weeks, 6 of my players have fallen victim to injury. This is devastating in fantasy play, especially since I am in the league's final championship week. As a result, I panicked and all dropped all of those players and picked up mediocre ones in their place. Keep in mind that I have been faithful to these players throughout the season. Well, it just so happened that their injuries were not so serious, and they came back to drastically outplay the new players I had just picked up. As a result, I lost this week and ended up 2nd in the standings, despite being 1st in the regular season. Ok, big deal, so I end the season with the best record, and end up 2nd in league play. Honestly, it doesn't really matter to me what place I ended up in or how well I did because in a few weeks I will forget about it and my life will be no different.

So what did I learn? To be loyal to my players? To plan in advance how to beat opponents? The most pressing lesson was to witness the ease with which I fell victim to panic and chose to react, not respond. I made a moment bigger than it was, and deviated from a strategy that had driven me to a successful season. Reacting too quickly was the problematic issue at hand.

2) March Madness

At work I joined a pool of 40 people with a $10 buy-in. At the end of the tournament, the 1st place person would be given 75% of the pot, and 2nd place 25%. Giving myself no chance to win, I merely picked teams who I liked when I watched them play during the year, and looked forward to trash talking co-workers during breaks. Two weeks into the tournament, I'm in 1st place! Just to give proof, see the above table. People at work started coming up to me and saying congratulations, it looks like you're going to finish in the top 2. As the final game between Butler and UConn came around, I was in a secure 2nd place. The only way for a different finish was if UConn won, then a co-worker in 5th would jump to 1st, and I would be left in 3rd place. When the work day finished, co-workers were surprised at my statement: I wished UConn to win. First, someone at the company would win the prize (other companies had joined). Second, I would get free lunch (winner buys everyone who had a bracket). Third, my co-worker would be super happy! Fourth, this would become a company legend, how Ben (my co-worker) was the only one who picked UConn to go all the way. If I happened to finish second, the only winner would be me because there wouldn't be enough to treat everyone to lunch, and there probably be no word on the brackets again. The best gain to be had was for me to not win any of the pot, and for my co-worker to win it all. For some reason, others could not understand this. We must seek out mutual gain scenarios, in which the most gain!

In terms of our present life, it is Christ! With Christ there is so much to gain, and it is not exclusive! Grace is offered freely to those who recognize the sinful state of their heart, see Christ for who he is, and accept the grace that has been offered through the salvation performed through the death of God's only son.

John 4:

Boasting About Tomorrow

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Taking the year off

Last day with Al Joo at Park's BBQ. Of course, it would rain that day.

First hockey game: LA Kings Vs Anaheim Ducks

As many are aware, I spent the last 2 weeks of my UCLA collegiate career in the hospital. From that period to now, I have categorized it as "my year off."

This year has been quite the journey. No, I didn't travel very far (furthest was Orange County). No, I didn't have any graded exams (Just some Korean language and acting classes for leisure). No, I didn't have any worries of my living situation as my parents graciously let me come back home (For the record, I love living at home with my parents). Regardless of the exclusion of common past worries, this year has definitely carried its own unique weight.

This past year has been a year of rest, rehabilitation, and re-focus. I have no homework, sauna sessions at my local gym, good job with supportive management, tae kwon do class, family dinners, ministry training, opportunities to really dive into God's word, and so much more. During these months of predictable routine, I have been able to really carve and re-focus on what is important to the sustainment of my soul. It at times seems like the calm before a storm.

At the same time, this rehabilitory period has been frustrating, testing my patience, and constantly shifting of any future plans. I have been exposed to my cowardice, pride, selfish ambition, complaints, indolence, apathy, loneliness, and dependence on that which is fleeting. Honestly, it was very frustrating when I couldn't run as fast as I wanted, sing as loud as I could, or deeply breathe. There is only thing that kept me sane. The only thing that has been constant. The only thing that I could depend on. That is the word of God.

My mind, my heart, my motives...change all the time. I am fickle, capricious, and any other term that exemplifies humanity. But it is God's word that has been with me during this time. I am still timid, shy, and lack the backbone to stand up for the one who is my sustenance.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still water. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. -Psalms 23

I will be first to admit my lack of righteousness. And that is why I need Christ and his grace. I am confident because I have the provision of Christ. I don't have all the answers to everyone's questions, or at least the answers that people are hoping to hear. Simply put, we have sinned, deserve hell, but with the grace of God, have the opportunity to spend eternity with our creator. This may sound crazy, but its what I hold dear.

My future plans have changed wildly in the past years.

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble...The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps... -Proverbs 16

May my plans be glorifying to God and that I may be built and molded into a man anointed and a light to this world. All I can do is be faithful, and go forward.

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." -Winston Churchill

What a year off. What is meant by a year off? Every year carries its own lessons, challenges, relaxing moments, and the molding of one’s self.

I will continue to blog as one of my role models, Jimmy Carter, states in his old age that it is beneficial to share one's experiences and thoughts, especially, if one can learn from the sharing.

Randomness

Sister's baptism

Christina Song's Art Gallery Showing

Santa Monica Show

Al Joo

Me

Marky

So, it is 2011. At work, I remember being really happy when my co-worker told me that it was 1-11-11 on January 11, 2011. Simple, yes. It brought a smile to my face.

Many things have happened since my last post: Mark visited from Google land, my older sister's baptism, New Years get-together parties, concerts, birthdays, etc etc.

I've resorted to writing in a personal journal during that time and will continue to do so. As a result, I have been able to finally fill a journal with my thoughts...I checked the first page and it was dated June 9, 2008. This is pretty big because I tend to move journals frequently, and end up never completely using one (kinda like my relationship with chap stick).

Anyways, February has started and I hope to post more often that once a month.

Adios!

Whale fail.

Pointing...at nothing.

Nice Boats.

Taking the ferry...with the car parked on the ferry :)

Whale watching. 2.5 hours. No whales. 1 free voucher to go again.

We vowed to not go together next time. Instead, with a date. hehe :)

Tae Kwon Do

Im on the far right, holding the red jacket.

Much has happened since my last post; however, I will choose to focus on my present pursuit.

Last week I decided to start training in Tae Kwon Do. Why?

Consciously, I was tired of going to the gym every so often and lifting weights, swimming, and heading home. I wanted to train in something I could document my progress in as well as have an environment where I was allowed to hit things. It may seem nomadic...which it may be. But it feels good.

For those of you who don't know, I started Tae Kwon Do in 7th grade 3 months before my mom passed away. She had registered me in Karate in 1st grade, but I made sure that was a failure by way of hiding in the closet, underneath my bed, or behind a tree when Karate time came around. So, she tried again with Tae Kwon Do. After her passing, I became very involved in the art. With my dad's support, I went to the studio 5-7 days a week, riding my scooter on Saturday mornings and taking part in the Sunday bible study/training sessions that were offered. My life was school, homework, and tae kwon do. I was eventually awarded the best black belt trophy 2 times (after obtaining my black belt), but I think it had to do with my master trying to advertise the studio (I was a pretty good student at school, so he liked to read the recommendations at belt tests). Although I was not aware of it at the time, tae kwon do was my way of releasing stress and driving any negative energy towards my opponents. After training rigorously for more than 3 years in the martial art, I would stop because I didn't want to pay the steep $800 price for more advancement in the black belt.

7 years later I have returned. Thankfully my friend Bryan is an instructor at a studio near my house, so I have a good reason to go. After spending one week at the studio, I am working on regaining my form and technique, and was fortunate enough to participate in the Montrose Christmas Parade as a tae kwon do martial artist. Waving to people and helping lead the young tae kwon do students, I was in a parade for the first time in my life.

I don't have anything profound to say about the martial art except that it has helped me revitalize discipline in my life and allowed me the opportunity to build on a pastime that has played such a huge role in my life.

Tae! Kwon! Do!

Necessary Humiliation

I have been told not to dwell or be consumed by failure, as failure due to taking risks shapes and propels you forward.

My most recent rejection was quite humbling and I forced myself to sit here and write about it so that my ego may be deflated publicly.

Some of you may know that I applied to be part of the 2011 Teach for America Corps. I spoke confidently of going to Hawaii or a Native American reservation to spend two years teaching in under-served elementary schools. On my resume sent to the corps, I boasted of a 6 month leave of absence to perform a similar teaching mission in South Korea, 3 years of teaching workshops and leading discussion sections for education classes at UCLA, analytical experience as a Morgan Stanley intern, social justice awareness as a researcher/organizer for the United Farm Workers labor union, sports writer for my school newspaper, numerous awards and highest academic honors…it never entered my mind that I would be rejected. Memorizing the website and characteristics the program was looking for, I thought I performed well at the interview and responded to all the questions asked of me. There was no way I would be rejected! I was the ideal candidate! I looked forward to November 9^th and receiving a welcoming email or a congratulatory call. Instead, I received a short message thanking me for my efforts and website links to recommended organizations.

Immediately, I felt embarrassed and shocked. What was I going to tell others? What should I do next? I have a comfortable finance job right now, but desire for more. Embarrassment to confusion to panic. My immediate response was to create other plans. Law enforcement? Should I take the Foreign Service exam sooner than I had desired? Time to call up the alumni contacts I had built at IBM and other organizations while I was a student. Then, I stopped.

I need to respond, not react. Pray to my sovereign God and meditate on his word. Realizing how imperfect I am in my relationships with others and myself. My natural characteristics are selfishness, pride, and rivalry. Only by the grace of God can I be loving, composed, and at peace. I fail all the time, but that doesn’t stop me from striving forward to be a man after God’s heart.

This rejection was a very needed reminder of my humanity and the need to fight my sense of entitlement. No matter how much I try to qualify and equip myself for the world, I am still in the hands of God. Remember the church of Ephesus, and don’t forget your first love.

Another rejection, yes. Another obstacle, yes. Another revelation of God’s sovereignty and the trivial pursuit of human decoration.

Any accomplishment going forward....may it reflect the undeserved grace that has been poured onto me.