Commissioning

And so, one day after my commissioning as a Naval Officer, I am trying to process what happened in the past 12 weeks.

Today was the first day I put on a regular pair of pants with a shirt, slept under my sheets, walked around with nobody watching me, and not really stressing about anything.

So the inevitable question awaits me...what was it like?

To be curt, it was hard.  

That first week was probably the most difficult week in my life.  The combination of mental, physical, and spiritual stimuli led me to question my motivations, pursuits, and perceptions of the world around me.  

The following weeks ushered forth new medleys of stresses; including academic classes (engineering, navigation, naval seamanship, naval history, etc), drill, billets, physical training, inspections, and more.  

Spending every moment for 8 weeks with the same 27 people brought it's own set of incredibly joyful moments as well as moments of frustration.  

First impressions matter, but in our case...ending impressions mattered the most.  People I disliked in the beginning I grew to like....I was reminded of the need to reserve assumptions for inconsequential situations.  

Started with 45, ended with 27 (after some roll-ins).  What an amazing journey.  Now we are off to different parts of the globe.  Japan, Bahrain, Florida, Hawaii, Rhode Island, Virginia, San Diego, and New York are only a few of the places we are all headed to.

The moments of desperation always ended with laughter, and for that I am thankful.  Let us never forget the sweat and tears we shared on Prichard Field, the track, in the pway before RLP, rose garden, suya, and cookie jar.  The smiles at Hi-Moms and our firm handshakes and mutual respect as we swore in together as Naval Officers.  

Class 02-13 Golf Company will always hold a special place in my heart.  Despite all the suck, it was well worth it.  Would I do it all over again?  First, I would cry.  But there is no doubt I would do it again if I had to in order to be commissioned as an officer.

All praise and glory goes to God for comforting me in dire moments and surrounding me with the right people.  But most importantly, saving me from my sin so that I may join him in heaven.

Quick Update

Today is Friday, Week 6.

Days here are like weeks, and weeks are like days.  Basically, days go by very slowly, but the weeks pass quickly.

Life after 4th week has improved exponentially, with showers at will, access to email, blousing of boots, academic classes, etc etc.

Indoctrination week was the most difficult and stressful week I've ever had in my life.

Notes:

-Chow hall highlights: peanut butter (w/ apples, cucumbers, bananas, etc), yogurt (w/ everything).

-The sand pits suck.  really suck.  There have been times when I thought I was dying..literally.

-There have been many times in the beginning when I felt like my body was shutting down.

-You get used to living on 4 hours sleep.

-Always be ballistic.  Except when speaking to an officer.

-I wear a glow belt 24/7...even to sleep.

-Walking by the dessert section every day torments me.

-I really suck at hand eye coordination activities without being able to practice beforehand.  (i.e. sword manual)

-Every day provides excellent and hilarious stories.  Especially when we get beat.  Everyone hates everyone while getting beat, but we all enjoy recapping afterwards.

Gotta go now...time to lock on again.

dream day

I feel like I'm in a dream.

Flying from Los Angeles to Dulles to Providence.  O the irony.  I ended up in providence haha.

Looking out the window of my taxi as I drove into Newport, I became so excited to see the concrete sign, US NAVY NEWPORT , but also scared that I would wake up and this wouldn't be real.  What the heck am I doing in Rhode Island?  This is a surreal reality for me right now.  Talks of what jets you want to fly, where in the world you will be stationed, and of course the ridiculous stories I've been hearing.  I feel as though I've joined a fraternity, with all my fellow servicemen and women being my brothers and sisters.  For our last dinner, we ordered some Dominoes and enjoyed some pepperoni pizza in the hotel lobby while finding out a little about each other.  It's a strange feeling.  The calm before the storm that is to come tomorrow.  Sitting in my hotel room with seagulls right outside my window and the smell of the ocean filtering in, I keep telling myself...game time.

I have been blown away and feel undeserving of the love I have been shown the past few weeks by family, church, friends, and colleagues.  It finally hit me last night during my final dinner with family.  As we clanged our wine glasses together, I started to cry.  Mind you, I haven't been really emotional during the entire goodbye process, but it all caught up to me.  I would no longer be living life on a day to day level with so many who I care so much about...my only response was to cry.  After excusing myself from the dinner table because it was "too hot," I went to my bathroom to turn on the sink and let the tears flow.  Putting myself together, I returned to the table and enjoyed a wonderful final meal.

God has blessed me beyond measure, and tomorrow I will begin quite possibly the most difficult 3 months of my life.

Psalms 23.

The Weight of Departure

I have begun to realize the weight of my approaching departure.  Not the weight on others, but the weight on me.  Although I am thrilled and excited for what is to come, I will deeply miss what I am leaving, even if it is only for a few years.

I cannot assume that once I come back my existing relationships will be the same.  People develop, change, and enter new stages in their life.  It is certain that I will also not be the same man that left.

My parents will age, friends will get married, and new beginnings will arise for many of those whom I am close to.  It deeply saddens me that I will miss many moments and developments in the lives of those who I care significantly about.  I visualize it perfectly through the children I teach in Sunday School.  The five-year olds will be ten years old, and the twelve year olds will be on the brink of graduating high school.  

Hopeful, I wish for things to pick up exactly as I had left things...but that will not be the case.  

I am and will always be grateful for the blessings God has provided through the amazing people in my life.  But gratefulness doesn't make it any easier to leave.

Taking an oath

On my way...

"I, Jason Lee, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States...{insert rest of oath}.  So help me God."

It all happened so quickly.  Taking my oath of enlistment, signing the documents, and learning when to report to Rhode Island.  Best way to describe the turn of events would be: whirlwind.

I am ecstatic.  For something to come to fruition after years of waiting, overcoming obstacles, and self-development...it's hard to articulate what feelings I am feeling.  When it comes time for action, you act. When it comes time to reflect, you reflect.  Although I am attempting to reflect, I'm still in action mode.

All I can say is that I'm thrilled to be given an opportunity to join the fleet, and will serve my country to the best of my abilities and aptitude.

At this point I must give thanks to my family and friends who have supported me along the way.  And a special thanks to my buds who came to witness me swearing in.

And the ultimate thank you to my lord and savior Jesus Christ.  My life is a testament to the sovereignty of God at work, and I am beyond blessed to accept the grace of God in my life.  I am no better than anyone.  Just a very fortunate man.

The love of a dog

I should be finishing up some accounting homework, but I felt it was necessary to blog about my family's new dog.  

Honestly, it never entered my mind that my family would be getting a dog.  With me potentially shipping out soon, classes, ministry, and work, I just didn't think I would have time to care for a dog.

For those of you who don't know, I like to make sure most Sundays are spent at home after church.  I believe in making it an official family tradition to spend time together intentionally on Sunday.  Well, last Sunday I came home expecting to take my usual walk in the park with my parents.  Instead, my parents told me they would be going to their friend's house for dinner (yup, my parents were the ones who left me to go hang out this time).  They ended up coming home with a super sweet Cocker Spaniel.  My intial reaction: what the?  We better find a good home for this dog because I'm definitely not going to have the time to take care of him!  

Boy, was I mistaken.  Cocoa is now a part of our family and I try to spend any free time I have with him.  We go on evening strolls around the neighborhood, star gaze at night, and play catch in the backyard.  When I sit in my lounge chair outside, he either jumps into the chair next to me, or just sits at my feet. Driving to work on Monday morning, I couldn't concentrate because I kept thinking about Cocoa and what he would be doing right now.  I ended up driving past my usual carpool meet-up spot and going through downtown.  I realized what I had done, and drove quickly back to the carpool spot and apologized when my carpool partner came into my car.  

Cocoa was a very unexpected new relationship in my life.  He makes me wonder if I'll be the same way with my children (wanting to go home as soon as possible).  He's strangely super excited every time he sees me.  Truly, an unquenchable love.  He doesn't really care if I don't dote on him; he just wants me to be near him and spend time together.  Even stranger is that he shares this type of relationship with everyone he meets.  What an amazing animal!  I could learn a lot from Cocoa.  We could all learn a lot from Cocoa.

Sonic Boom

Another recollection from my youth.

I used to believe I had this secret powering up ability.  Sometimes I still think I do.  It all started on the basketball courts in my family's weekly Sunday battles.  It would always be my sister and me on one team against my parents.  The reason is that I would always fight with my older sister if we were on different teams because she would travel, tickle me, and intentionally foul me on every play.  Intelligently, my parents decided to put us on the same team every time we played.

Well, if we were ever losing I would warn my parents that I would be unleashing SONIC BOOM.  In my heart and mind, I really believed that unleashing Sonic Boom would lead my team to victory, no matter the deficit.

The Sonic Boom ritual:
1) Dribble the ball at the top of the key
2) Start running in a small circle over and over, yelling SONIC BOOM! after every revolution
3) After 5 Sonic Boom shouts, be taken over by my super energy and race towards the basket for an easy layup.

This move has never failed me.  Looking back, I am certain that my parents and older sister were so amused that they just stepped out of the way and watched me unleash Sonic Boom in order to score a basket.  However, there is always the chance that Sonic Boom really was as effective as I had believed and was one of the most intimidating moves seen on the basketball court.
SONNNNIC BOOOOM!

Thankfully I have access to a real life sonic boom.  Prayer.  Prayer to a sovereign and all-powerful God.  The ultimate sonic boom.