Good Experience

Here I am, once again, in my empty apartment.

Meals, TV shows, late-night studying sessions, and moments continually pass by.

Good experiences. After recalling a short story to a friend, he had replied: must have been a good experience. Upon hearing that description, I became irritated. It bothered me for a while. Why was I so annoyed by the term "good experience?"

Was it because the term appears to be descriptive of a fleeting occurrence?

Was it because I felt that my friend did not understand the experience I had experienced?

Or was it because I believed labeling something as a good experience is utterly inadequate to describe the series of events or event?

Probably a little bit of all of those reasons. However, I have become more aware that my irritability towards the term "good experience" is that my life has been characterized by a pursuit of good experiences. This pursuit has been the center of my attention for probably most of my college career. In high school I was always envious of all the activities that those around me were able to participate and become active in. The reason being is that I was home alone most of the time and had few resources to participate in research, write in the newspaper, take community college courses, and more. As a result, subconsciously and consciously, I became very aggressive during college to satisfy all my desires of having "good experiences." These would include writing for the school paper, working for a labor union, participating in congressional bill rallies, studying abroad, developing workshops for students, running the marathon, trying fencing and yoga, camping out for basketball games, working in a fancy office for wealth management, teaching in Korea, going to missions in China, and so much more. Although I am glad I pursued all these things, I reflect and realize it was all for me. All these experiences have shaped how I see, interact, and communicate with everything around me, but I am quick to acknowledge that all these pursuits for completely for my gain (perhaps at times I may have fooled myself it was for others). Maybe this is why I became irritable at the term "good experience." The term reminds me of my pride and inner desire to strengthen my reasons to be prideful.

I admit, I am a weak and pathetic fool.

Eager to learn and be part of what is to come, here I am.

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 26-31

Identities

We, as in humans, are quite unique.

I took a look at my dog and realized he has very few identities that he is considering at any given moment. You are either one of his family members, friends (basically my dad and me), suspicious beings (my house gardeners, postal workers, and some of my friends), or a living being worthy of biting (mice, possums, birds, lizards, you get the point).

For us identities that we are dealing with simultaneously extend from ones that we can affect(political views, religion, friends, school, vocation) and ones that we have very little say over (our ethnicity, physical height, family). We associate very strongly with our identities as seen through genocides and crusades, or even the common college football game.

These identities can all exist within us, but when push comes to shove...Which identity stands before all others?

You decide.

Graduation Looming

Now, it's my turn.

Plans are altered, dreams are shifted, relationships are developed, experience is gained, and graduation is now looming.

The once casual "What are you doing after college" questions are turning into the more serious "What are you doing after college" questions. On paper the questions seem the same; however, the timing makes all the difference.

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth" (Proverbs 27)

From union organizing to private wealth management, my plans have swayed constantly throughout college. Exposure to a multitude of fields has left me dazed...What should I pursue? What is God's plan for me?

Ultimately, I am to pursue after God and in this, glorify him. Be a man after God's own heart, just like King David.

So what are my plans? I trust and have faith that God's plans will be sovereign over mine, so let my plan be at his mercy. Praying for discernment and guidance, I am at the mercy of a sovereign God, thank goodness.

Long-term is school planting, in countries and regions where literacy and opportunities are hard to come by, in order to spread the gospel message through students and then to families.

I am aware of living in a dynamic world where circumstances and situations shift in response to an almighty God. Open to new opportunities, paths, and experiences, I am excited for what is to come. At the same time, a bit apprehensive for the unknown. Regardless, I am but a weak servant in the hands of a mighty master.

"Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1)

"What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? (1 Corinthians 4)

The Dream that was Korea

During my orientation program in Korea I heard over and over again to be prepared for reverse culture shock when I return to the states. Falling back on my past experience in England and France, I thought that reverse culture shock is very much a myth. However, after returning home, reverse culture shock has been very active in my mind.

Reverse culture shock, getting used to home again, missing the temporary home abroad, or whatever you want to call it...there is one thing in common: There are times of extreme longing for something I can't point my finger at. As I go through my busy routine, the idea that I was even in Korea and all that I experienced wisps away as if it never happened. But random small events trigger a longing for once was my regular life in the past 6 months. These random events include emails from Korean co-teachers, seeing elementary students walking around, messages from friends made in Korea, movies, and more. It's time to be honest. As much as I wanted to come back home, I fell in love with Korea. I can still see my students running around me pelting me with snow balls, the excitement in their eyes as we play Mafia, me making silly dances for Row, Row, Row your Boat, and taking Gosuk buses all over Korea. People ask how I am adjusting. I am adjusting fine if that means doing my usual routine and doing what needs to be done. However, my heart still aches for once was. As time passes, Korea is becoming more and more of a dream. A dream easily recalled, but becoming less and less real.

Forever in my heart, a tribute to Jangpyeong.

Rushing forth

Finally, a moment to myself.

These past few weeks have been a drastic shift from my serene lifestyle in the Korean countryside. My last week in Korea was spent in my father's hometown of Suwon, watching dramas with my grandmother, visiting friends in Seoul, watching movies, hiking with my cousins, and saying my goodbyes to relatives.

As I approached my date of departure, I was reminded of how uncomfortable I am towards goodbyes and reunions. While some people like to stretch these events out, I like the subtle nature of a simple hello and see you later. It may seem as though I am cold or obtuse; however, I am merely trying to flee my feelings of discomfort. Selfish, yes. Malicious, never. Perhaps subconsciously I am afraid of great reunions or departures because of events in my life. Regardless, I am very fond of those around me, but it may not appear so at hello and goodbye.

Well, here I am back in Los Angeles.

First week: moved into my apartment in Westwood, helped my friend get engaged, witnessed another close friend get a girlfriend, discovered my favorite hiking trail burned down, and more.

Second week: start school, get accustomed to my schedule, buy books, daily reunion dinners, buy and set up a new car battery for my Honda, wait in line for a parking pass, and more to come.

Busy, yes. Drained, no. I do have to admit that I love my moments alone (I think I wrote about my introverted nature in a previous post). Rushing forth, I have had few to no moments to reflect on where I am at this point. The beginning of a new year marks the beginning of a new school year, a new home, new schedule, and a career. Thankfully, some things are never new.

Undeserving

Middle school girls at the church.

My boys at the church.

All my students at the church.

Again.

Students playing in the snow.

Soccer in the snow.

TaLK buddies

Before heading to Korea I was warned by relatives to be wary of the many deceptive Koreans that will come my way. By the mercy and grace of God, I am deeply grateful for all the prayers and support that has led to me meeting some of the most caring and loving people I have ever met. Here in the countryside I have been taken care of and accepted more than I could have ever hoped for. In no specific order:

First, the kindergarten teacher. She embraced me immediately and throughout my stay here I have gone to her house to enjoy home-made cooking and the presence of family. Together with her daughter we played arcade games at Phoenix Park, ate roasted duck at a famous farm, enjoyed dog stew, watched New Moon in the VIP section in a Seoul movie theater, watched a Korean movie in a city one hour away on a school day, cooked dumplings together from scratch, went to a herb clinic to buy a month's amount of medicine for me, let me sleep over in the guest room, and constantly brought me snacks during the school day. Introducing me to her husband and friends, I was able to get to know the 6th grade teacher, her husband, and their 5 year old son. She was a definite undeserved blessing during my stay here.

Second, the 5th grade teacher, Jong Min Kang. He has been my closest friend at the school and in Korea through the 5 months. From late-night movies in the school library, random dinners out in Jangpyeong, driving me to Wonju to meet his friends, buying me the vitamins that I requested from his pharmacist friend, and just being my closest companion at school. We always eat lunch together in the cafeteria and he takes care of me when we go on school field trips. I plan on working with him in the future on a joint venture that we have talked a lot about. He is a man of character; moderate with his tastes and look. I knew I liked him when I went to his room and found a bible open on his desk. If I had been born and lived in Korea, he would probably be one of my closest friends.

Third, the 3rd grade teacher, Euji Kim. My mentor teacher and guardian. From picking me up in Yangyang, preparing barbecue dinners for me, buying all my food and furniture when moving in, taking care of all my requests, Euji has been such a solid presence during my stay here. Keeping in mind that she is pregnant and due in April, I have tried my best not to bring too many issues to her, but I can always count on her. Since she recently married and moved to Pyeongchang where she has no friends, she understood where I was coming from and always takes the initiative to make sure I'm ok and taken cared of. Man, what a blessing.

Fourth, the school staff. The principal, vice-principal, nurse, bus drivers, janitors, and all the teachers have all been very gracious to me. We've shared time on school field trips, night clubs, singing rooms, dinners, and more, and I am thankful to be working with such good co-workers. They are subtle in their humor, such as writing Pretty Jason next to my cell phone number on the main office's calendar wall and always making fun of the way I drink my coffee in the office. Great people.

Fifth, Jangpyeong Methodist Church. The pastor embraced me immediately as I agreed to teach English vocabulary and phrases on Wednesday evenings. Preparing dinner for me, the parents were extremely caring and supportive. I loved teaching the high school students as we went over 100 vocabulary words a week and laughed the entire time. I felt comfortable with them as I enjoyed the fellowship we had on those Wednesday evenings. On the final day, they threw me a huge surprise going away party with gifts (like banana milk because I said I liked it) and tons of food. i agreed to keep in touch with all of them, and they are all waiting for me to come back because I promised to return to Gangwon-do in the future.

Sixth, my relatives. Always having a place to go to on the weekends is very comforting. Heading to my grandma's place was always a joy because I knew I could comfortably sprawl out on the sofa and enjoy tons of amazing food. Going through picture albums of my family, I could catch up with my cousins and see the years pass by through the pictures.

Seventh, TaLK friends. Without my friends from TaLK, I would seriously miss home a lot more. Reminding me of home and just being able to speak English without wondering if I am understood was very comforting. Having friends across the country also gave me an excuse to visit random areas and try various cuisines.

Eighth, the students. From recesses to basketball games, I really enjoyed spending time with my students. One student told me that he changed his dream of being a police officer to becoming a basketball athlete because of me (they are impressed by my dribbling between my legs and spinning the basketball on my finger). The girl students were always very quick to complement, as in the library I would always be holdings the hands of the young students. Always asking me my age and who my girlfriend was, the girl students made me feel like a pop star. Although sometimes the students could get on my nerves in class, I have had so many happy moments with them and will never forget them calling out my name in the hallway every day.

Ninth, the intern teachers. I could always count on the intern teachers in the library to entertain me. One of them would always give me movies and things to do while sharing with me the young life of a Korean man in Pyeongchang. Pop songs, music videos, dramas, and places to have fun were pieces of knowledge I gained from the library. The other intern teachers invited me to their son's first birthday party, introduced me to Gangleung's bus system owner, and drove me around the seaside town of Gangleung. My visits to the library were always a joyous occasion.

Tenth, the people of Jangpyeong, Korea's bus drivers, restaurant owners, jjimjilbang managers, apartment manager, and more. Hospitality was shown in every way as I am extremely thankful to them.

The TaLK program has been a chapter in my life in which I was given a taste of God's ability to provide and the need for me to obey. I am forever in debt to the people of Korea and those who have supported me along the way.

Day-trip

Went to Seoul for a day-trip on Saturday. Met up with Joanna at Hongdae for some Mexican food (delicious burrito) and then went to Namdaemun to do some souvenir shopping with Lisa. Found a nice little clock for the kindergarten teacher and then went off to the Lotte shopping mall. After meeting up with the kindergarten teacher and her family, we decided to watch New Moon. Since the teacher's husband works for Lotte, we were able to go into this VIP lounge for a special viewing of the movie. I've never seen anything like it. The special screening had its seats set up in groups of 2 (for dates) with walls between every second chair (this way you don't see what another couple is doing). The chairs were mini-sofas with reclining leg and back rests. There was also a button to call a server who brought food and drinks to your private table. I was pretty mesmerized at the setting. The movie itself was ok, and I could see why lots of girls would like it. Since the movie ended late, we missed the last bus headed out of Seoul to our town. So, we took a 2-hour taxi ride back to Jangpyeong. Ok, it's time to start class...peace.