Peppero Day, Dog Stew, Broken Buses, and Wanting to Stay

the biggest peppero box...

dog stew :)

a small collection of peppero on my desk

In Korea, November 11th is officially Peppero Day. My students explained to me that since the date is 11/11, the number 1s next to each other look like peppero. Makes sense, kinda. I don't remember having a Snickers Day or Whatchamecallit Day, but no bitter feelings haha. Anyways, the day before the infamous day, my students made me promise to bring them peppero. So, I made a 15 min. trip to the closest supermarket to buy a stack of peppero boxes. The next day at school, I was ambused by cases of peppero, home-made and store bought, along with special super-long peppero sticks. I am officially sick of peppero. For my after-school classes, I gave out Twix bars, explaining that these bars were American Peppero. The kids loved it ^_^

Monday evening I went to a Korean medicinal clinic for herbal medicine and then went to eat roasted duck with the kindergarten teacher and her daughter. At the medicinal clinic (the kindergarten teacher wanted to take me because I sweat a lot when we eat hot things) I was poked around by the doctor and then diagnosed with a weak stomach (I already knew this). So now I will be consuming a herbal tonic 3 times a day. After the clinic, the place we went to eat at was attached to a duck farm and there is usually a wait of 2 hours to eat there on the weekends. The meat was extremely delicious and we conversed about booking a movie theater (apparently there are movie theaters with bed-like seats that you can book), going to Lotte World, real estate prices, and the opening of a new middle school nearby. Overall, an enjoyable evening.

On Wednesday evenings I volunteer my services to my town's local church to teach English to the youth. In exchange, I am served dinner along with the students I teach. Well, it started as a cordial matter from 5 to around 8. But suddenly, the pastor is now telling me to stay until 10. Now, I am conflicted. First, I am extremely tired after being at school for over 6 hours. Second, I really want to help the high school students; however, the pastor is making me set aside an hour primarily for the elementary students and keeps telling me to focus on them. Third, my focus is the elementary students at my school, and if I am tired the next day, lessons do not go so well. In order to encourage me to spend more time there, the pastor tells me that God is using me. The issue is that by 8, I always have a headache from the day so I don't know how good I will be afterwards if I am just grumpy. Since I am very much an introvert, I treasure my moments alone because it allows me to recharge. Being at school and then the church classes is fun, but extremely draining. I have a week to decide what I'm going to do.

Thursday evening I went out for dog stew with the kindergarten teacher, 6th grade teacher, and her husband. The meat was definitely interesting; tender yet flavorless. Supposedly, eating dog meat gives you endurance in bed, so lots of guys love eating dog stew. I admit, the soup itself was quite delicious, but I probably won't be jumping at the next chance to eat some dog meat.

Friday morning I woke up at 6:30 to head to Wonju in order to visit the Korea Exchange Bank. After eating street dumplings and doing some currency exchange, I caught a bus back to my town in order to make in time for school. On the highway, 5 km away from my town, the bus broke down. The fact that the bus broke down was fine; things like that happen...come on, the law of entropy. However, what got on my nerves was the constant complaining of everyone on the bus. A emergency bus was coming in 15 minutes, but everyone continued to complain. The girl in front of me kept saying she was pissed off and she must have called 15 of her 오빠s to tell them how cold and alone she was on a broken bus. Give me a break. The 아주마s were pissed off at the driver (how was it his fault?) and were thinking of calling a cab (come on, just wait 15 minutes). Anyways, whether here or in the states, people are the same: persistent in complaining.

Wanting to stay:
Monday morning before I entered the school building I gave a call to my father to ask him how he was doing. As we talked, my first and second graders began to accumulate around me, trying to understand what was coming out of my mouth. They deciphered that I told my dad I would be coming home in December and would arrive on a Sunday morning at LAX. Immediately I began to be interrogated by my students. Would I be leaving for good in December? Where does my dad live? Will you be back next year? We really want to be in your after-school English program next year (the Korean school year starts in February and ends in December…makes a lot of sense). Later during my 5th and 6th grade class the 5th grade students asked to make sure that I would be their teacher next year before they graduate. In order to avoid the question, I refrained from answering.

After the questioning and playing with the students, I headed up to my classroom burdened by what had just happened. I forgot about it, but after school when I arrived home I couldn’t help but think more about what had happened. I came to Korea for a couple reasons: impact and inspire the children in the countryside to pursue their dreams, understand the society where my parents come from, and enjoy a break from formal academia. As the months have passed, many relationships have developed that have caused me to be attached. Attached to my school, my town, my children, my co-teachers, everything. It seems as though my contract here is ending just when I have settled and formed ties into the community. Have I made an impact? Right now I wish my present situation can be frozen in time…that I could have the same students, work at the same school, converse with the same teachers, and live in the same community. All of us know that this is not possible. Even if I stayed, things would change. With our childhoods as evidence, people come in and out of our lives, and situations we look back on as ideal were just part of our normal life in the past (family dinners, playing with siblings, buying video games with friends, etc.) However, at this present moment I am at the transition. Soon I will be back in the states, returning to what I considered my normal life. Sometimes I grow weary of my desire to venture outside of my comfort zone. The reason is that once I return, nothing is the same. The same comfort zone that brought me satisfaction in the past no longer can satisfy. So, do I believe it would be better to be naïve to what I’ve seen? Of course not.

The other night I was eating dinner with the kindergarten teacher, the 6th grade teacher, and the 6th grade teacher’s husband. As we conversed, we eventually came to the topic of where we would be in a few years. From my perspective, I had just come to Jangpyeong, so everything that was in place seems like it was always that way and always will be. However, to the residents and members of this community, change is expected and continual (just like back at home). As a visitor I am naïve to this change because after my snapshot of the community, I will be returning to my hometown in the states. Regardless, I learned of the plans of the teachers moving on, selling their houses, moving to different communities, and more. Content in my current situation, I grew restless with the realization that soon Jangpyeong will be different from the Jangpyeong I know in only a few years.

What is burdening me? I want to stay and make a longing impact; appeasing the desire for the students wanting me to stay to lead the English programs. However, all reason points to me returning to the states. Finishing school, regaining student status, and moving on with my life. Despite all the rational reasoning that points to me returning, I know that the faces of my students will never leave my mind or conscience. They have become a part of me. Jangpyeong has become a part of me. More than just a memory…

Random:
I purchased Barak Obama’s "Dreams from My Father" online and received it Monday. Tuesday evening I finished it, and loved it. I very much recommend it to all who are curious about who our president is, how it is like to have parents from another country, or just want to read a great novel-like autobiography.