Memorial Day reflection

There are some people who get confused between Labor Day and Memorial Day, or see Memorial Day as just another excuse to have a barbeque or hunt for sales in retail stores.

Memorial Day originates in the tradition to honor fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War.  It has since then evolved into honoring all soldiers who have died in war.

So, other than the obvious reason of Memorial Day coming up...why do I want to blog about this?

As a future Naval Officer, I often have to respond to questions and inquiries from friends and acquaintances on why I want to join the military.  I like to think of myself as an idealist, as a realistic idealist.  I am certain that those who have been in war are the ones who are most against war.  Soldiers have been exposed to what war can do; thus, are the ones who can give a real perspective on how brutal and chaotic battle can be.  And I hope in the midst of that chaos, there will be idealistic officers leading from the front, serving their men, and serving their country.

Recently a co-worker got on the topic of mercenaries and the private security forces being used regularly in the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq.  He praised their training and technology, and especially their pay.  When I brought up that many of those who are serving in the U.S. military are just as deserving, and more so, than the mercenaries.  He replies and says there's no difference between the private security soldier and the solider of the nation's military.  He told me that only foolish and uneducated individuals would choose to join the nation's military unless it was for the purpose of becoming a private security soldier and being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I then asked him, "what about those who join for the purpose of serving their country, it's national security, and your freedom?"  Whether they are less or more educated has no bearing on the value of their desire to serve their country or their own personal value.

Another recent event that irked me was the response of a girl who was struggling to find a job.  A friend advised her to join the military.  To which she responded, "Only people who can't find jobs go to the military.  That's why so many of my guy friends are joining in this economy."  Alright, there may be many cases in which people join out of necessity due to bad job prospects.  But that does not discount the worth of their commitment or make what they do any less important than what you do.  And come on, show some respect.

People always ask me...why?  At my age, I rarely hear people ask people why they want to become doctors, teachers, chefs, or most other professions.  But for some reason whenever someone says I want to join the military...the question is...why?  Not a curious why, but a why which comes across as why would anyone voluntarily choose to do what you want to do.  Now, a response is definitely warranted.  People deserve to know why individuals choose to join the military, the force that carries out national policy and protects the country.  People deserve to know why military personnel joined and chose to fight for their country.  But I do find it saddening that such a negative view is attributed to our nation's soldiers: current and prospective.

Yes, I've been irked by some recent comments made by others.

To which I say: "If not me, then who?"

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303610504577419973285034422.html?KEYWORDS=travis+manion

Let us take the time to remember the cost that has been paid and is continuing to be paid by our nation's soldiers.

Sailor's Creed


I am a United States Sailor.


I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.


I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.


I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with Honor, Courage, and Commitment.


I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

Son of a farmer boy

Tonight at dinner I couldn't help but smile as I watched my dad share his farming stories for the millionth time.  Stories revolved around taking rare and treasured trips to the city with my grandfather, waking up at 4am every day to go take care of livestock, walking hours to school, harvesting vegetables, or hunting small animals.

I've always been supportive of protecting and documenting family history, and was further encouraged to do so upon hearing that my pastor had completed a genogram for his family.

Well, I decided to do the same, and am very glad to have started documenting my family's history.

That point being pushed to the side, I love being the son of my father.  He doesn't have many hobbies, and is simplistic in speech and thought.  His ideal day would be picking fruit, eating fruit, hiking, and watching a movie.  His love language is definitely serving others, and he isn't the greatest at verbal articulation of the love he feels for others.  He's the type of guy who will be praying over you when he thinks you're asleep, making sure the house is stocked with all the snacks you like, throwing away the trash in my room, and who will follow through on any request you make...immediately.  He's the type of guy who's easily taken advantage of and lives his life in hopes of never burdening anyone.  Yes, he doesn't think too deeply or have much academic potential, but his work ethic and integrity are bar none.

As the son of a farmer, and a former farmer himself, he always has random tips about vegetables and fruit to share, as well as the proper way to take care of land.  He's imparted so much over the years, that I feel as though I am also a farmer boy at heart.  I love the countryside and respect the simple yet incredibly unpredictable nature of farming.  This can apply to farming crops, raising livestock, fertilizing the land, and more.  With the heart of a farmer, but not in the typical farming environment, what can I farm?  Or in other words, what am I raising/cultivating/growing around me?  Boy, I am super thankful to be the son of a farmer boy.

Strange complaining

Today was a strange day.  Honestly, today my heart was filled with complaining.

My job isn't difficult.  It's also through a temp agency, so it's not very secure.  So what have I been doing every day for the past month?  I'm a medical coder for UCLA.  What the heck is that?  I had no idea until I started.  In a nut shell, I audit hundreds of hospital bills a day.  This encompasses researching procedures, diagnosis, physicians, charges, etc etc.  Basically making sure everything is correct so that insurance companies cannot find any excuses to avoid paying the doctors and the hospital.  I haven't met anyone here who really likes their job, and everyone pretty much keeps to him or herself.  As a guy who likes entertainment, I often spice things up by pulling pranks on coworkers...such as something innocent like leaving a huge pile of rubber bands on a co-worker's keyboard. Yes, I'm that guy.

Today I began to ask myself: Why am I here?  Out of everywhere, why the heck am I here? 

The funny thing is that one month ago I was saying wooo hooo, I got a good temp job! 

So, how did I end up here?  I definitely would not have imagined myself to be a medical coder 2 years out of college.

A few of my friends know that during my junior year of college, I avoided joining an investment bank on a full-time basis and decided to dedicate myself to labor rights.  I was set on working at a regular job for 2 years, writing a book, (kinda like Barbara Ehrenreich), then heading off to law school for a career in private public interest or maybe the state department.  Then plans changed, things happened, and I went many different routes. 

So why the complaints today?  It was triggered by me reading about the lunch menu at my friend's company.  Ridiculous eh? 

Thoughts kept entering my mind about how I could go into consulting, investment management, or high tech strategy if I just reach out to the contacts I had established during my college years.  I kept thinking how much $$ I could've had, and how much I should have had I actually gone along with the offers that had come my way in the past.  Then I realized what a fool I was.

On a practical level, I am working here right now because of the long wait and process of becoming a Naval Officer.  And I don't want to have a firm invest heavily into me only to have me leave in a short amount of time.  That would be very selfish, and I wouldn't be able to go through with it (I was actually given an offer a few months ago for a well-paying career job, but declined once I heard about my final selection for Naval Officer School).  On another level, God has me where I am for a reason.  In the past 2 years I've been able to spend most evenings with my parents, witness the spiritual re-birth of my sister, build stronger relationships with close friends, obtain my taekwondo 2nd degree black belt, take the GMAT, truly evaluate whether I want to go to law school, get my motorcycle license + scuba diving certification, discover jiu-jitsu, develop healthy eating habits, learn how I like to dress haha, go through the teach for america process, consciously decide not work for an alphabet agency in my early years, build my public speaking abilities, recognize the importance of church, and greatly strengthen my relationship with God.  God has allowed me to really learn a lot about myself during this time...because I finally had the time to settle down and find out.

And it's funny how what I had wanted my junior year of college actually has happened.  I am at a place where a lot of people are not happy with their job, and I really get to understand the common fight to survive on a budget that so many people experience. 

Dang...God, thank you for training me.  Thank you for allowing me to even notice my complaining attitude today.

Life is funny. ^_^  Take the world seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously.

A quick goodbye-Tribute to C

I have...or had a coworker named C (for anonymity).  C and I started work together at the same time, and so we ended up spending a lot of time together.  A lot more than I wanted.  C made sure every break, every lunch, and basically each moment related to work was spent together.  We even car pooled in the mornings at  6am and after work.  So, inevitably, we spent a lot of time together.  He wasn't exactly the type of guy I wanted to spend a lot of time with.  He cursed a lot, talked about his sexual fantasies, and was pretty awkward in conversations.  Basically, not the guy I'd like to get a beer with.
Even though I didn't adore the guy, my interactions with him revealed A LOT of my weaknesses.  Talking with him forced me to really dive into what I stood for and what I would fight for when threatened.  He was the type of guy that was so different from myself that I couldn't help but really identify what is my foundation.
I'm the type of guy who wants to be left alone when I'm taking a break.  Let me read my newspaper and my books when I'm at lunch or on my own time.  What can I say...I like me time.
However, for some reason, C would want to discuss things with me.  He seemed to always be taken aback by my responses, how my life was not driven by the desire for material or vanity, and how I continued to share that my faith is the dominant force in my life.  Even when I didn't feel like it, C made it so that I was constantly sharing the gospel with him.  Of course he would get defensive and frustrated, but he would always come back without fail.

Today C was laid off.  Now, I may see him again or may not.  I truly am sad that I won't be seeing him tomorrow at 6am, or during work.  I really do wish him the best, and I hope that despite my unloving attitude and pride, God was able to plant a seed in him.

Thank you God for sending C into my life and helping in my development and revealing the sinful heart I have.

Thank you C for being exactly who you are.  I don't understand why you liked me so much, but man you showed a lot of patience with me.

Well, now I'll be going back to work tomorrow...and will sadly have all the time I want to read and do whatever I had wanted to do during breaks and lunch.

Saturday Chores

For the past 3 months I've tried to vacuum my house every Saturday.  While there are weeks I have failed to keep the commitment, for the most part it's been pretty consistent.  

Every week I vacuum, I am never cease to be amazed and shocked.

With only 7 days between vacuuming sessions, the amount of dust and debris that compiles on the floors of the house is just plain crazy.  And then I can only imagine had I not vacuumed, I would be walking in and breathing in all that dust.  Although I cannot visibly see it during the week, the dust is revealed every time I take the time to clean the floor.  I've also noticed that after my lung surgeries, my lungs have become very sensitive to air quality; thus, I can immediately notice when the air quality around me is sub-par.

Relating this to my own life, I must find the time to consistently vacuum and clean up the unseen filth that has settled into my life.  If I don't, then I will just be mindlessly walking and breathing in "dust."

Providence in Every Circumstance

First, all glory and praise to God.

As I struggled to get up a steep hill on a difficult trail run today, I couldn't help but recall where I would have been right now if things had gone my way.  A lot of things have not gone as planned, and that is a great thing.

Many plans of my own gain had been planted in my mind leading to this point.  Visions of corporate law, labor union organization, investment banking, fellowships, alphabet letter agency adventures...I keep an account of all these things in a journal, and look forward to reading my entries in later days.  Somehow, whether by personal resolve/reflection/God's touch, my path has changed.

If things had gone my way I would've just finished Marine Officer Candidate School and been en route to The Basic School for a 6 month platoon leadership and ground tactics training program.  And I would find out during this time what specialty I would be further trained in.

If things had gone my way I wouldn't be here and excitedly involved in a new church plant, practicing jiu-jitsu, working at UCLA hospital's billing office, further discovering my strengths among trusted family and friends, or being able to witness to the new people in my life.

Who knows?  I may have been hurt badly at Quantico and dropped out.  I may have suffered frost bite from the freezing cold of Quantico.  Maybe I would not have been prepared.  OR maybe I would've become the star of the class.  Maybe achieved the best PFT score.  Earned the title of Marine.  I can pose these questions and hypotheticals all day.

At the end of the day I am here right now and am extremely grateful.  Stronger than any other title is the title: Disciple and Follower of Christ.

Yes, times are tough and there continue to be struggles and trials in my life.  However, all pales in comparison to the provision and blessings, and complete confidence in the sovereignty of God.

During the time I remain in civilian life, I will continue to wake up excited and grateful for God's providence.

Yes, I get super excited at the thought of marriage, children, future ministry, personal projects...but all of these things are in the hands of God.  And because of this, I am at peace.

A non-believing co-worker asked me today, when was the moment you became a christian?  Was it right after my mother died?  Was it when my family was in dire circumstances?  Was it when I was in suffering?
To be honest, it's when things appeared to be going well.  I had achieved all that I had sought to achieve up to that point, and things were going well according to an outside view.  But the realization that these things don't satisfy is what cast my heart and soul into confusion.  As great as things were, what could be completely satisfying?

And then I read Ecclesiastes.  God and the gospel of Jesus Christ truly satisfies.  Whatever lies ahead, I am at peace knowing it's in the hands of the Almighty.

Del Mar Mud Run 2011 - Good times haha