What? A tattoo??

The title of this post is not misleading...and yes, I now have a tattoo.

The back story to this tattoo goes like this....

In college I was very close to getting a tattoo of the letters I and V on my rib cage with a man kneeling before another.  The idea behind this was that I wanted to remind myself to stay attached to your IV (Integrity, Vitality) and to be a man looking to serve others.  I'll be first to admit that this isn't always the case as I fall all the time; however, I wanted it to be a daily reminder of what to pursue.  However, I didn't want to spend hundreds, so I ended up not getting it.

Fast forward to this month...

A friend of mine and I began to discuss possibilities for tattoos and how he had always wanted a tattoo.  I ended up recommending him to get a sheep dog (another story related to officer candidate school).  This led to the idea of a tattoo come alive again in my mind.  Well one thing led to another and I ended up getting a Rickson Gracie jiujitsu triangle with Psalm 23 on top of it.

The triangle:
Jiujitsu has taught  and continually reminds me on the importance to lose gracefully, win humbly, and the balance of attack, defense, and position.  I look forward to a future working in the art, and to improve not only in use of my mind and body as a unit, but as a person.
Psalm 23 is a chapter I repeat to myself every morning when I wake up and before I go to sleep.  The Lord is my shepherd and my peace, confidence, and whole-being comes from my identitiy in him.

I hope that this tattoo will not only be a daily reminder to me of my foundation, but also a starting point on which to discuss with others what is the source of my vitality, and ultimately the gospel.

Thank you God for my health, family and friends, opportunity to serve my country, and to taste the grace that you have revealed to me.  Praise God now and forever more.

Productivity

Productivity.  In my case, I pursue it, yet it is always out of my grasp.  Every day is inundated with task upon task, and you learn to enjoy any minute of relaxation you can find.  After a long day of classes, tests, etc, I got to relax at a local jiu-jitsu gym in the evening.  I love the physical exhaustion that results from a rolling session, but that is besides the point.  The title to this post is productivity, but I will stray away and began to recap 2012 as the month of December is upon us.

2012:

-GMAT
-UCLA Hospital Accounting job
-Brazillian Jiu-jitsu
-Tapestry-->Now, the House
-OCS
-NSCS

Man, what a year.  I seem to say this about every year, but I can honestly say this year was a year to remember.  First, finding a church I really loved and wanted to serve...and then being called away to Rhode Island for training.  Beginning a new lifestyle, and developing new friendships.  6 months from now, I could be anywbere....nothing is really cemented for 2013.  As I pour myself into my pursuits, I can only say one thing: Psalms 23.  I have it written across my room wall, and I recite it every morning...it is my life theme.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff they comfort me.  You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of The Lord forever."

This post may be convoluted and without good structure; however, I end this with a desire to become more consistent in my daily devotions and dependence on Christ.

Desires for the new year:
1) finish some writing projects I'm working on
2) compete in a jiujitsu tournament
3) play the harmonica confidently
4) get out to sea

The Lord is my shepherd.

New Life

It is approaching my one month mark of living as an Ensign in the United States Navy.

First, I want to make known my appreciation for all my brothers and sisters serving and fighting for the freedoms that we as Americans enjoy.  Much blessings and prayers go out to you shipmates.

I am now completing my second week here at Naval Supply School, and have enjoyed it thoroughly.  Admittedly, there are many times I am lost and overwhelmed by the influx (or should I say hurricane) of new information, supply systems, etc etc.  In addition, I am attempting to become more proficient in Naval History by way of reading historical materials.  If you should ever choose to join the Navy, be aware that it's all-in, or don't do it.  Almost everything I do now is about the Navy.  It's a blessing as I can see how everything I read, see, and talk about, I consciously reflect on how it is impacting my ability to lead sailors and become a better Naval Officer.  And I do this gladly.  I don't know many careers where this would happen.  I definitely understand now the talks from my drill instructor and chief petty officer on how being a Naval Officer is a 24/7 job.  It eventually becomes the very essence of your speech and thoughts.  It's kind of hard to explain it.  Let's just say I spend almost every waking moment with other Naval Officers.

On a side note, I've been trying to explore Newport in my spare moments, and have found some amazing sports bars, restaurants, tourist sites, cafes, and most importantly, a church and jiujitsu gym.  I've only been to the church once, but I really liked the sermon last week.  As for the jiujitsu gym, it has a connection to the Machado brothers and is led by a former Navy SEAL, so I am excited.  Well, I'm going to go back to reviewing a 2,000 page navy publication to try to get used to classes...

I'm definitely getting older...I sleep by 2230 every day, and wake up...early.

Thoughts of the day:
1) God must be number one in your life
2) Treat everyone with respect
3) Never underestimate the eating ability of 20 young officers, and always come to class equipped with at least two boxes of cookies.

Commissioning

And so, one day after my commissioning as a Naval Officer, I am trying to process what happened in the past 12 weeks.

Today was the first day I put on a regular pair of pants with a shirt, slept under my sheets, walked around with nobody watching me, and not really stressing about anything.

So the inevitable question awaits me...what was it like?

To be curt, it was hard.  

That first week was probably the most difficult week in my life.  The combination of mental, physical, and spiritual stimuli led me to question my motivations, pursuits, and perceptions of the world around me.  

The following weeks ushered forth new medleys of stresses; including academic classes (engineering, navigation, naval seamanship, naval history, etc), drill, billets, physical training, inspections, and more.  

Spending every moment for 8 weeks with the same 27 people brought it's own set of incredibly joyful moments as well as moments of frustration.  

First impressions matter, but in our case...ending impressions mattered the most.  People I disliked in the beginning I grew to like....I was reminded of the need to reserve assumptions for inconsequential situations.  

Started with 45, ended with 27 (after some roll-ins).  What an amazing journey.  Now we are off to different parts of the globe.  Japan, Bahrain, Florida, Hawaii, Rhode Island, Virginia, San Diego, and New York are only a few of the places we are all headed to.

The moments of desperation always ended with laughter, and for that I am thankful.  Let us never forget the sweat and tears we shared on Prichard Field, the track, in the pway before RLP, rose garden, suya, and cookie jar.  The smiles at Hi-Moms and our firm handshakes and mutual respect as we swore in together as Naval Officers.  

Class 02-13 Golf Company will always hold a special place in my heart.  Despite all the suck, it was well worth it.  Would I do it all over again?  First, I would cry.  But there is no doubt I would do it again if I had to in order to be commissioned as an officer.

All praise and glory goes to God for comforting me in dire moments and surrounding me with the right people.  But most importantly, saving me from my sin so that I may join him in heaven.

Quick Update

Today is Friday, Week 6.

Days here are like weeks, and weeks are like days.  Basically, days go by very slowly, but the weeks pass quickly.

Life after 4th week has improved exponentially, with showers at will, access to email, blousing of boots, academic classes, etc etc.

Indoctrination week was the most difficult and stressful week I've ever had in my life.

Notes:

-Chow hall highlights: peanut butter (w/ apples, cucumbers, bananas, etc), yogurt (w/ everything).

-The sand pits suck.  really suck.  There have been times when I thought I was dying..literally.

-There have been many times in the beginning when I felt like my body was shutting down.

-You get used to living on 4 hours sleep.

-Always be ballistic.  Except when speaking to an officer.

-I wear a glow belt 24/7...even to sleep.

-Walking by the dessert section every day torments me.

-I really suck at hand eye coordination activities without being able to practice beforehand.  (i.e. sword manual)

-Every day provides excellent and hilarious stories.  Especially when we get beat.  Everyone hates everyone while getting beat, but we all enjoy recapping afterwards.

Gotta go now...time to lock on again.

dream day

I feel like I'm in a dream.

Flying from Los Angeles to Dulles to Providence.  O the irony.  I ended up in providence haha.

Looking out the window of my taxi as I drove into Newport, I became so excited to see the concrete sign, US NAVY NEWPORT , but also scared that I would wake up and this wouldn't be real.  What the heck am I doing in Rhode Island?  This is a surreal reality for me right now.  Talks of what jets you want to fly, where in the world you will be stationed, and of course the ridiculous stories I've been hearing.  I feel as though I've joined a fraternity, with all my fellow servicemen and women being my brothers and sisters.  For our last dinner, we ordered some Dominoes and enjoyed some pepperoni pizza in the hotel lobby while finding out a little about each other.  It's a strange feeling.  The calm before the storm that is to come tomorrow.  Sitting in my hotel room with seagulls right outside my window and the smell of the ocean filtering in, I keep telling myself...game time.

I have been blown away and feel undeserving of the love I have been shown the past few weeks by family, church, friends, and colleagues.  It finally hit me last night during my final dinner with family.  As we clanged our wine glasses together, I started to cry.  Mind you, I haven't been really emotional during the entire goodbye process, but it all caught up to me.  I would no longer be living life on a day to day level with so many who I care so much about...my only response was to cry.  After excusing myself from the dinner table because it was "too hot," I went to my bathroom to turn on the sink and let the tears flow.  Putting myself together, I returned to the table and enjoyed a wonderful final meal.

God has blessed me beyond measure, and tomorrow I will begin quite possibly the most difficult 3 months of my life.

Psalms 23.

The Weight of Departure

I have begun to realize the weight of my approaching departure.  Not the weight on others, but the weight on me.  Although I am thrilled and excited for what is to come, I will deeply miss what I am leaving, even if it is only for a few years.

I cannot assume that once I come back my existing relationships will be the same.  People develop, change, and enter new stages in their life.  It is certain that I will also not be the same man that left.

My parents will age, friends will get married, and new beginnings will arise for many of those whom I am close to.  It deeply saddens me that I will miss many moments and developments in the lives of those who I care significantly about.  I visualize it perfectly through the children I teach in Sunday School.  The five-year olds will be ten years old, and the twelve year olds will be on the brink of graduating high school.  

Hopeful, I wish for things to pick up exactly as I had left things...but that will not be the case.  

I am and will always be grateful for the blessings God has provided through the amazing people in my life.  But gratefulness doesn't make it any easier to leave.

Taking an oath

On my way...

"I, Jason Lee, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States...{insert rest of oath}.  So help me God."

It all happened so quickly.  Taking my oath of enlistment, signing the documents, and learning when to report to Rhode Island.  Best way to describe the turn of events would be: whirlwind.

I am ecstatic.  For something to come to fruition after years of waiting, overcoming obstacles, and self-development...it's hard to articulate what feelings I am feeling.  When it comes time for action, you act. When it comes time to reflect, you reflect.  Although I am attempting to reflect, I'm still in action mode.

All I can say is that I'm thrilled to be given an opportunity to join the fleet, and will serve my country to the best of my abilities and aptitude.

At this point I must give thanks to my family and friends who have supported me along the way.  And a special thanks to my buds who came to witness me swearing in.

And the ultimate thank you to my lord and savior Jesus Christ.  My life is a testament to the sovereignty of God at work, and I am beyond blessed to accept the grace of God in my life.  I am no better than anyone.  Just a very fortunate man.

The love of a dog

I should be finishing up some accounting homework, but I felt it was necessary to blog about my family's new dog.  

Honestly, it never entered my mind that my family would be getting a dog.  With me potentially shipping out soon, classes, ministry, and work, I just didn't think I would have time to care for a dog.

For those of you who don't know, I like to make sure most Sundays are spent at home after church.  I believe in making it an official family tradition to spend time together intentionally on Sunday.  Well, last Sunday I came home expecting to take my usual walk in the park with my parents.  Instead, my parents told me they would be going to their friend's house for dinner (yup, my parents were the ones who left me to go hang out this time).  They ended up coming home with a super sweet Cocker Spaniel.  My intial reaction: what the?  We better find a good home for this dog because I'm definitely not going to have the time to take care of him!  

Boy, was I mistaken.  Cocoa is now a part of our family and I try to spend any free time I have with him.  We go on evening strolls around the neighborhood, star gaze at night, and play catch in the backyard.  When I sit in my lounge chair outside, he either jumps into the chair next to me, or just sits at my feet. Driving to work on Monday morning, I couldn't concentrate because I kept thinking about Cocoa and what he would be doing right now.  I ended up driving past my usual carpool meet-up spot and going through downtown.  I realized what I had done, and drove quickly back to the carpool spot and apologized when my carpool partner came into my car.  

Cocoa was a very unexpected new relationship in my life.  He makes me wonder if I'll be the same way with my children (wanting to go home as soon as possible).  He's strangely super excited every time he sees me.  Truly, an unquenchable love.  He doesn't really care if I don't dote on him; he just wants me to be near him and spend time together.  Even stranger is that he shares this type of relationship with everyone he meets.  What an amazing animal!  I could learn a lot from Cocoa.  We could all learn a lot from Cocoa.

Sonic Boom

Another recollection from my youth.

I used to believe I had this secret powering up ability.  Sometimes I still think I do.  It all started on the basketball courts in my family's weekly Sunday battles.  It would always be my sister and me on one team against my parents.  The reason is that I would always fight with my older sister if we were on different teams because she would travel, tickle me, and intentionally foul me on every play.  Intelligently, my parents decided to put us on the same team every time we played.

Well, if we were ever losing I would warn my parents that I would be unleashing SONIC BOOM.  In my heart and mind, I really believed that unleashing Sonic Boom would lead my team to victory, no matter the deficit.

The Sonic Boom ritual:
1) Dribble the ball at the top of the key
2) Start running in a small circle over and over, yelling SONIC BOOM! after every revolution
3) After 5 Sonic Boom shouts, be taken over by my super energy and race towards the basket for an easy layup.

This move has never failed me.  Looking back, I am certain that my parents and older sister were so amused that they just stepped out of the way and watched me unleash Sonic Boom in order to score a basket.  However, there is always the chance that Sonic Boom really was as effective as I had believed and was one of the most intimidating moves seen on the basketball court.
SONNNNIC BOOOOM!

Thankfully I have access to a real life sonic boom.  Prayer.  Prayer to a sovereign and all-powerful God.  The ultimate sonic boom.

Fantasy Graduation

In the midst of all the graduations going on, I couldn't help but reflect on my own.  So, yes I will admit that I fantasized about my graduation ceremony.

A little dramatic, but I feel like it's a bit comedic.  I imagined myself draped with all the honor cords available to students, confidently walking up to the podium.  At the podium, announce into the mike that I am dedicating this diploma to my father.  We would then embrace in a long hug after the ceremony.

Here's how it actually went:
I was discharged from the hospital 2 days before the main graduation ceremony.  Knowing I would be too weak to really enjoy the main ceremony, I invited  family and a few close friends to my Phi Beta Kappa initiation ceremony because it was smaller and more intimate.  After having had no physical exercise for two weeks, I hobbled around and was very sensitive to air quality (basically if I saw someone smoking, I would hobble as fast as I could away and put a hand over my mouth).  Sitting down hurt, walking hurt.  Standing still was the only position in which  I felt comfortable.  Not knowing what was going on and faking a smile, I proceeded to go through the ceremony and even managed to give a small parting speech at the mike.  But just being there was draining.  Friends who were being inducted with me asked me how I was doing and offered encouragement.  However, I wasn't very good in my responses or even accepting encouragement.  I wanted it to seem as though I was perfectly alright and in excellent condition.  The hard thing was that a lot of people who had come for me didn't know about my condition (friends of my parents). So I had to endure a lot of hard hugs and strange glances from them when I winced from physical touch.  Even when we went to dinner I didn't have the energy to enjoy it, and just wanted to go home and rest.

Even the next day at the main ceremony I had no idea what was going on.  I barely managed to find my graduation gown with nothing on it, and struggled to enjoy the moment.  Afterwards, in the pictures I forced myself to smile, but again, was just drained and wanted to go home.

Man, definitely not the graduation ceremony I had imagined.

Despite it all, I am grateful that it went exactly the way it did.  To God be the glory.

Studying habits in my childhood

For the past few years I've had quite a few parents approach me to teach them on the art of studying.  I guess some people assume a particular way of being raised will foster excellence in academia.

So, I will share the secret of my youth.

I never studied.  I don't even remember ever doing homework until 7th grade.  Throughout most days in my youth I would come home, drop my backpack off on the couch, then run off with my friends to the park.  We would play at the park until the early evening, then head home.  I would come home, eat dinner, read a novel (usually the Ramona or Redwall series), practice 5 minutes of cello, listen to my parents talk, go to bed, memorize basketball player statistics for 20 minutes (Michael Jordan's highest season ppg average was 37.1), then go to bed.  Wake up in the early morning to play some video games in bed, eat breakfast, then head to school for another day of fun.  Now, there are a few key things that I must mention.  I had no internet, no cable television, no pressure from parents, and no extracurricular commitments other than Awana.    I lived in a safe neighborhood, had lots of neighbors my age, had a great library near by, and was given a lot of independence.

I will admit that things changed drastically in middle school due to unforeseen events, but that is the subject of another blog post.

Commonly said, but sincerely meant...I have the best dad.

I love my dad.  I've written a few blog posts about him already, but he is the most sincere and genuine man I personally know.  Yes, he has many faults that are easily noticeable, but he is also quick to admit his imperfections.

He has always been my biggest cheerleader and more importantly, a friend I could always depend on.  Admittedly, before studying the Korean language and progressing in my language ability we had little to say to each other.  Instead, it was all through actions.  He would come home from a long day of work and play basketball with me every day.  He would take me to basketball practice and watch me play every week.  He watched me every taekwondo class and watched me progress from a white belt to a black belt.  Since he went to work very early, he would call me to wake me up for school.  He even watched me play the video game Harvest Moon for hours whenever he could.  If I liked a snack or food, he would make sure I could have it in abundance.  If I ever said I liked something, he would make time to learn about it and want to share the news with me.  If I ever asked him to do something or mentioned I wanted something, the request would be taken care of right away.  He's a man of action, and when he's talkative, of many words too haha.  I've seen and been with him in the hardest of times for both of us, and we've become all the more closer because of it.  He chose to stick by me; I am forever grateful.  Almost everything I think of family, fatherhood, friends, and life is somehow tied to my father.  Man, God has been so gracious.

I will always treasure our weekday evening basketball battles, our rides together in his favorite pick-up truck, his advice sessions while picking fruit in the backyard, slow hikes up the local mountain-side, our daily meal of tri-tip, radishes, lettuce, and a coke for almost a year, my breakdown after the 7th grade awards ceremony and subsequent redemption....and so many more memories that need to be left unsaid or else I will start crying.

I sincerely hope that one day my children will  think of me as I think of my father.

What a City!

These days I've been driving quite a bit around Los Angeles.  On a day to day level, I'll be passing through downtown and east LA to get to Marina del Rey/Westchester.  Then I'll head to Los Feliz and maybe sneak in a short hike at Griffith.  After studying at starbucks if I forego Griffith, I'll head to Glendale for jiu jitsu.  And then to finish it off I'll be driving through the mountains back home.  Although many parts of LA are missed on this daily schedule, it does expose me enough to be able to appreciate the melting pot that is our city. 

I have lived in Los Angeles for all my life, minus 10 months.  Growing up in a one of Los Angeles' many suburban communities, I grew up in a small town environment on the border of one of the largest cities/counties in the world (by population).  When considering colleges to attend, I ultimately decided on UCLA for a few simple reasons.  1) Allowed me to be close to my family, 2) Great dorm food (I'm serious), 3) Beautiful campus.  Despite having had lived in Los Angeles for 18 years of my life and thinking I knew Los Angeles, I soon discovered that the longer I live here, the less I know about the city.  LA never ceases to surprise me.

I love Los Angeles.  Travelling and living in other countries throughout college exposed me to great foreign cultures and cities; however, at the end of the day...I miss LA.  

Perfect Snapshot:

A few weeks ago Staples Center in Downtown Los Angeles hosted playoff games, not day by day, but hour by hour!  We had 3 teams in the playoffs, all playing on the same weekend, and all with home games.  The Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Clippers, and Los Angeles Kings.  NOWHERE else is that going to happen.  

We have beautiful beaches, great hiking trails, desserts and snow covered mountains nearby, amazing universities, an eclectic mix of cultures (and that means FOOD!), an endless supply of activities, events, and venues to check out, and yeah.  If you want to go to an island, then head on over to Catalina for some great cuba diving and golf!  Basically, if you're bored in LA...it's your fault for not going outside.  

We have the best jiu jitsu practioners, a plethora of running clubs and random groups, pickup basketball games going on all the time, beautiful people, ...ok I'm going to stop listing all the great things going on here.  

Yes, you only need to take one trip down Skid Row to see that Los Angeles isn't perfect.  The public transportation isn't the most efficient.  Traffic sucks.  Some communities are not safe to visit.  Materialism and idols are worshiped everywhere.  Definitely a reminder that we ain't in heaven.

Little Tokyo, Glendale, Burbank, Hollywood, Westwood, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, Downtown, Koreatown, East LA, Pasadena, Eagle Rock, Culver City, Venice....man...what a city!

Memorial Day reflection

There are some people who get confused between Labor Day and Memorial Day, or see Memorial Day as just another excuse to have a barbeque or hunt for sales in retail stores.

Memorial Day originates in the tradition to honor fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War.  It has since then evolved into honoring all soldiers who have died in war.

So, other than the obvious reason of Memorial Day coming up...why do I want to blog about this?

As a future Naval Officer, I often have to respond to questions and inquiries from friends and acquaintances on why I want to join the military.  I like to think of myself as an idealist, as a realistic idealist.  I am certain that those who have been in war are the ones who are most against war.  Soldiers have been exposed to what war can do; thus, are the ones who can give a real perspective on how brutal and chaotic battle can be.  And I hope in the midst of that chaos, there will be idealistic officers leading from the front, serving their men, and serving their country.

Recently a co-worker got on the topic of mercenaries and the private security forces being used regularly in the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq.  He praised their training and technology, and especially their pay.  When I brought up that many of those who are serving in the U.S. military are just as deserving, and more so, than the mercenaries.  He replies and says there's no difference between the private security soldier and the solider of the nation's military.  He told me that only foolish and uneducated individuals would choose to join the nation's military unless it was for the purpose of becoming a private security soldier and being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I then asked him, "what about those who join for the purpose of serving their country, it's national security, and your freedom?"  Whether they are less or more educated has no bearing on the value of their desire to serve their country or their own personal value.

Another recent event that irked me was the response of a girl who was struggling to find a job.  A friend advised her to join the military.  To which she responded, "Only people who can't find jobs go to the military.  That's why so many of my guy friends are joining in this economy."  Alright, there may be many cases in which people join out of necessity due to bad job prospects.  But that does not discount the worth of their commitment or make what they do any less important than what you do.  And come on, show some respect.

People always ask me...why?  At my age, I rarely hear people ask people why they want to become doctors, teachers, chefs, or most other professions.  But for some reason whenever someone says I want to join the military...the question is...why?  Not a curious why, but a why which comes across as why would anyone voluntarily choose to do what you want to do.  Now, a response is definitely warranted.  People deserve to know why individuals choose to join the military, the force that carries out national policy and protects the country.  People deserve to know why military personnel joined and chose to fight for their country.  But I do find it saddening that such a negative view is attributed to our nation's soldiers: current and prospective.

Yes, I've been irked by some recent comments made by others.

To which I say: "If not me, then who?"

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303610504577419973285034422.html?KEYWORDS=travis+manion

Let us take the time to remember the cost that has been paid and is continuing to be paid by our nation's soldiers.

Sailor's Creed


I am a United States Sailor.


I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.


I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.


I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with Honor, Courage, and Commitment.


I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

Son of a farmer boy

Tonight at dinner I couldn't help but smile as I watched my dad share his farming stories for the millionth time.  Stories revolved around taking rare and treasured trips to the city with my grandfather, waking up at 4am every day to go take care of livestock, walking hours to school, harvesting vegetables, or hunting small animals.

I've always been supportive of protecting and documenting family history, and was further encouraged to do so upon hearing that my pastor had completed a genogram for his family.

Well, I decided to do the same, and am very glad to have started documenting my family's history.

That point being pushed to the side, I love being the son of my father.  He doesn't have many hobbies, and is simplistic in speech and thought.  His ideal day would be picking fruit, eating fruit, hiking, and watching a movie.  His love language is definitely serving others, and he isn't the greatest at verbal articulation of the love he feels for others.  He's the type of guy who will be praying over you when he thinks you're asleep, making sure the house is stocked with all the snacks you like, throwing away the trash in my room, and who will follow through on any request you make...immediately.  He's the type of guy who's easily taken advantage of and lives his life in hopes of never burdening anyone.  Yes, he doesn't think too deeply or have much academic potential, but his work ethic and integrity are bar none.

As the son of a farmer, and a former farmer himself, he always has random tips about vegetables and fruit to share, as well as the proper way to take care of land.  He's imparted so much over the years, that I feel as though I am also a farmer boy at heart.  I love the countryside and respect the simple yet incredibly unpredictable nature of farming.  This can apply to farming crops, raising livestock, fertilizing the land, and more.  With the heart of a farmer, but not in the typical farming environment, what can I farm?  Or in other words, what am I raising/cultivating/growing around me?  Boy, I am super thankful to be the son of a farmer boy.

Strange complaining

Today was a strange day.  Honestly, today my heart was filled with complaining.

My job isn't difficult.  It's also through a temp agency, so it's not very secure.  So what have I been doing every day for the past month?  I'm a medical coder for UCLA.  What the heck is that?  I had no idea until I started.  In a nut shell, I audit hundreds of hospital bills a day.  This encompasses researching procedures, diagnosis, physicians, charges, etc etc.  Basically making sure everything is correct so that insurance companies cannot find any excuses to avoid paying the doctors and the hospital.  I haven't met anyone here who really likes their job, and everyone pretty much keeps to him or herself.  As a guy who likes entertainment, I often spice things up by pulling pranks on coworkers...such as something innocent like leaving a huge pile of rubber bands on a co-worker's keyboard. Yes, I'm that guy.

Today I began to ask myself: Why am I here?  Out of everywhere, why the heck am I here? 

The funny thing is that one month ago I was saying wooo hooo, I got a good temp job! 

So, how did I end up here?  I definitely would not have imagined myself to be a medical coder 2 years out of college.

A few of my friends know that during my junior year of college, I avoided joining an investment bank on a full-time basis and decided to dedicate myself to labor rights.  I was set on working at a regular job for 2 years, writing a book, (kinda like Barbara Ehrenreich), then heading off to law school for a career in private public interest or maybe the state department.  Then plans changed, things happened, and I went many different routes. 

So why the complaints today?  It was triggered by me reading about the lunch menu at my friend's company.  Ridiculous eh? 

Thoughts kept entering my mind about how I could go into consulting, investment management, or high tech strategy if I just reach out to the contacts I had established during my college years.  I kept thinking how much $$ I could've had, and how much I should have had I actually gone along with the offers that had come my way in the past.  Then I realized what a fool I was.

On a practical level, I am working here right now because of the long wait and process of becoming a Naval Officer.  And I don't want to have a firm invest heavily into me only to have me leave in a short amount of time.  That would be very selfish, and I wouldn't be able to go through with it (I was actually given an offer a few months ago for a well-paying career job, but declined once I heard about my final selection for Naval Officer School).  On another level, God has me where I am for a reason.  In the past 2 years I've been able to spend most evenings with my parents, witness the spiritual re-birth of my sister, build stronger relationships with close friends, obtain my taekwondo 2nd degree black belt, take the GMAT, truly evaluate whether I want to go to law school, get my motorcycle license + scuba diving certification, discover jiu-jitsu, develop healthy eating habits, learn how I like to dress haha, go through the teach for america process, consciously decide not work for an alphabet agency in my early years, build my public speaking abilities, recognize the importance of church, and greatly strengthen my relationship with God.  God has allowed me to really learn a lot about myself during this time...because I finally had the time to settle down and find out.

And it's funny how what I had wanted my junior year of college actually has happened.  I am at a place where a lot of people are not happy with their job, and I really get to understand the common fight to survive on a budget that so many people experience. 

Dang...God, thank you for training me.  Thank you for allowing me to even notice my complaining attitude today.

Life is funny. ^_^  Take the world seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously.

A quick goodbye-Tribute to C

I have...or had a coworker named C (for anonymity).  C and I started work together at the same time, and so we ended up spending a lot of time together.  A lot more than I wanted.  C made sure every break, every lunch, and basically each moment related to work was spent together.  We even car pooled in the mornings at  6am and after work.  So, inevitably, we spent a lot of time together.  He wasn't exactly the type of guy I wanted to spend a lot of time with.  He cursed a lot, talked about his sexual fantasies, and was pretty awkward in conversations.  Basically, not the guy I'd like to get a beer with.
Even though I didn't adore the guy, my interactions with him revealed A LOT of my weaknesses.  Talking with him forced me to really dive into what I stood for and what I would fight for when threatened.  He was the type of guy that was so different from myself that I couldn't help but really identify what is my foundation.
I'm the type of guy who wants to be left alone when I'm taking a break.  Let me read my newspaper and my books when I'm at lunch or on my own time.  What can I say...I like me time.
However, for some reason, C would want to discuss things with me.  He seemed to always be taken aback by my responses, how my life was not driven by the desire for material or vanity, and how I continued to share that my faith is the dominant force in my life.  Even when I didn't feel like it, C made it so that I was constantly sharing the gospel with him.  Of course he would get defensive and frustrated, but he would always come back without fail.

Today C was laid off.  Now, I may see him again or may not.  I truly am sad that I won't be seeing him tomorrow at 6am, or during work.  I really do wish him the best, and I hope that despite my unloving attitude and pride, God was able to plant a seed in him.

Thank you God for sending C into my life and helping in my development and revealing the sinful heart I have.

Thank you C for being exactly who you are.  I don't understand why you liked me so much, but man you showed a lot of patience with me.

Well, now I'll be going back to work tomorrow...and will sadly have all the time I want to read and do whatever I had wanted to do during breaks and lunch.

Saturday Chores

For the past 3 months I've tried to vacuum my house every Saturday.  While there are weeks I have failed to keep the commitment, for the most part it's been pretty consistent.  

Every week I vacuum, I am never cease to be amazed and shocked.

With only 7 days between vacuuming sessions, the amount of dust and debris that compiles on the floors of the house is just plain crazy.  And then I can only imagine had I not vacuumed, I would be walking in and breathing in all that dust.  Although I cannot visibly see it during the week, the dust is revealed every time I take the time to clean the floor.  I've also noticed that after my lung surgeries, my lungs have become very sensitive to air quality; thus, I can immediately notice when the air quality around me is sub-par.

Relating this to my own life, I must find the time to consistently vacuum and clean up the unseen filth that has settled into my life.  If I don't, then I will just be mindlessly walking and breathing in "dust."

Providence in Every Circumstance

First, all glory and praise to God.

As I struggled to get up a steep hill on a difficult trail run today, I couldn't help but recall where I would have been right now if things had gone my way.  A lot of things have not gone as planned, and that is a great thing.

Many plans of my own gain had been planted in my mind leading to this point.  Visions of corporate law, labor union organization, investment banking, fellowships, alphabet letter agency adventures...I keep an account of all these things in a journal, and look forward to reading my entries in later days.  Somehow, whether by personal resolve/reflection/God's touch, my path has changed.

If things had gone my way I would've just finished Marine Officer Candidate School and been en route to The Basic School for a 6 month platoon leadership and ground tactics training program.  And I would find out during this time what specialty I would be further trained in.

If things had gone my way I wouldn't be here and excitedly involved in a new church plant, practicing jiu-jitsu, working at UCLA hospital's billing office, further discovering my strengths among trusted family and friends, or being able to witness to the new people in my life.

Who knows?  I may have been hurt badly at Quantico and dropped out.  I may have suffered frost bite from the freezing cold of Quantico.  Maybe I would not have been prepared.  OR maybe I would've become the star of the class.  Maybe achieved the best PFT score.  Earned the title of Marine.  I can pose these questions and hypotheticals all day.

At the end of the day I am here right now and am extremely grateful.  Stronger than any other title is the title: Disciple and Follower of Christ.

Yes, times are tough and there continue to be struggles and trials in my life.  However, all pales in comparison to the provision and blessings, and complete confidence in the sovereignty of God.

During the time I remain in civilian life, I will continue to wake up excited and grateful for God's providence.

Yes, I get super excited at the thought of marriage, children, future ministry, personal projects...but all of these things are in the hands of God.  And because of this, I am at peace.

A non-believing co-worker asked me today, when was the moment you became a christian?  Was it right after my mother died?  Was it when my family was in dire circumstances?  Was it when I was in suffering?
To be honest, it's when things appeared to be going well.  I had achieved all that I had sought to achieve up to that point, and things were going well according to an outside view.  But the realization that these things don't satisfy is what cast my heart and soul into confusion.  As great as things were, what could be completely satisfying?

And then I read Ecclesiastes.  God and the gospel of Jesus Christ truly satisfies.  Whatever lies ahead, I am at peace knowing it's in the hands of the Almighty.

Del Mar Mud Run 2011 - Good times haha

May Running Never End

I do trail running at least once a week; specifically the Griffith Park trails.  The best time is usually immediately after work if I'm not going to jiu-jitsu or have ministry meetings.  I feel so blessed and fortunate each time I run the trails because of the opportunity to run and breathe (alluding to my previous lung failures) and the opportunity to clear my head.  The thing about trail running is that when you are going up, it's so difficult that it's impossible to focus on anything else except what's right in front of you.  If you aren't in the moment, then you will most likely trip on rocks, hurt your legs, or even run off the mountain edge.  This complete immersion allows me to thing clearly when I reach the top.  Just like each of our journeys, their are countless turns, bushes blocking our view, downhills, uphills, rocks, snakes, poop waiting to be stepped on, and countless obstacles.  But in the end you are always rewarded by an amazing view and the realization of how small you are.  Life is like a trail run.  This is especially the case if you are a believer because at the end we have heaven to look forward to...and it will be the ultimate view.  Thank you God for the opportunities to run.  Thank you for nature.  Thank you for Griffith Park and its amazing access and views of all segments of Los Angeles.


Reading Materials

I noticed during breaks at work, one of my coworker is always waiting on me to finish my reading material.  Noticing that he was waiting a lot, I recommended that he pick up a subscription and read with me.  I then told him of what my reading life looks like, and I felt it would be good to write it down here just in case I lose track in the future and forget what reading materials I like.  Or maybe I might be interested 10 years down the line to see what I was reading in my early 20's.

Daily:
1. Bible
2. Wall Street Journal (print subscription)
3. A novel of choice
4. New York Times (online)
5. Blogs (Christian, jiu-jitsu, Navy)

Weekly:
1. The Economist (print sub)

Quarterly/Monthly:
1. National Geographic (print sub)
2. Sierra Insider (print sub)
3. UCLA Magazine (print sub)

Just realized a good portion of my days are spent reading.  I hope this never stops when I grow older.

Knowing the Cost

Naval Recollection: John Paul Jones 

In September 1779, Jones fought one of the fiercest battles in naval history when he led the USS Bonhomme Richard frigate, named for Benjamin Franklin, in an engagement with the 50-gun British warship HMS Serapis. The USS Bonhomme Richard was struck; it began taking on water and caught fire. When the British captain of the Serapis ordered Jones to surrender, Jones famously replied, “I have not yet begun to fight!” A few hours later,
the British captain and crew of the Serapis admitted defeat and Jones took command of their ship.

Jones went on to establish himself as one of the greatest naval commanders in history; he is remembered, along with John Barry, as a “Father of the American Navy.” He is buried in a crypt in the U.S. Naval Academy Chapel
at Annapolis, Md., where a Marine honor guard stands at attention in his honor whenever the crypt is open to the public.

As I live my life I must remind myself to ask myself: What's the cost?

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower.  Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?  For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, "This person began to build and wasn't able to finish."  Luke 14:28-30

Preparing to enter the armed forces, it is crucial for me to understand the costs in order to be 100% committed.  I must know that I am willing to go all the way if my men's lives are at stake.  Will I be a John Paul Jones and declare in the most dire situations, "I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT!"

If you are a believer, then you know what you are getting yourself into.  Jesus makes it no mystery when he tells his disciples in Luke 9, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.  For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?"

Random update:

These days I've been very committed to learning the art of jiu-jitsu, and it has been one of best consistent parts of my week.  I can tell immediately when rolling with beginners as we are the ones who typically exhaust all our strength and depend on a few techniques combined with our athleticism to lead us to victory.  While this leads to a great workout, it can easily lead to pointless injuries and sore bodies.  I've noticed that the more advanced pupils conserve their energy, utilize their defense, and take their time as if they are fighting a war and not a battle.  The difference is that doing it this way allows you to learn more about your opponent, calm down, learn which techniques can be combined, and be ok with losing a few rounds.  In the beginning I used to be focused on winning and submitting my opponents.  As I've continued to train, my ability to concentrate and take the time to try different strategies has improved.  I am first to admit that I still have much to improve on, but that is the joy of jiu-jitsu: I can see my improvement every day.   

Palm Trees

Last week I organized a carpool with 2 of my co-workers. We set up a system where one person drives for a week, and then we just switch off after our week is done. As a gesture of trust, I took the dive and drove everyone to work last week. Well, now that this week has come around, I now get to enjoy being the passenger.

The first thing I noticed in the morning was the abundance of palm trees in Los Angeles. Who knew? I've been living in Los Angeles for most of my 23 years, and never noticed this. As we were passing USC's Galen Center I couldn't help but be dumbfounded that something so big had escaped my eyes for so long.

Our mind filters out much of what we see; otherwise, there would be an overload of sensory input that would result in headaches all day (don't quote me, I'm making assumptions).

The question becomes: What else that is right in front of us do we not see?

Just a man

At the end of the day, a person is just that...a person.

We are reminded of this time and time again through recollections, biographies, historical texts, or documentaries of well-known individuals throughout history.

Having been inundated in the texts of Jimmy Carter in the past months, I've grown really attached to this man and hopefully have a better picture of him than does the typical person walking around.

Even at the pinnacle of his profession, as president of the United States, Jimmy Carter still had professional worries, family worries, relationship worries...basically the worries that are present in each of our lives. Yes, sometimes his were on a bigger stage, but at the end of the day he wanted to make sure he was doing his best to take care of those he cared about. The archive of his old diary entries (un-edited I have to add) is an amazing look into the daily struggles of a genuine man seeking not his own acclaim, but the improvement of the world he lived in. Yes, not everything worked out, and the media had a great deal of say in how the public perceived certain things...and he was definitely politically punished for not participating daily in the Washington social scene and media outreach events. But he truly seems to be a man of his word, and of solid faith in his savior. He was one of the few presidents to have not invited Billy Graham to the White House, not because of his lack of faith, but rather his desire to keep separate Church and State. In his language and actions we are shown that he truly depended on God. One of the questions he retained from his youth was when he was young, someone said:

"If you were accused of being a Christian and brought before a jury, would they have enough evidence to convict you?"

Well, the point is that I have grown to love President Carter. I feel as though he is truly the first well-known person I can connect with and truly want to spend time with. We definitely share a lot in common: love of the outdoors, country-boy heart, dependence on our faith, desire to serve publicly, Navy life (hopefully soon for me), and the desire to make things as simple as possible.

Flaws and shortcomings are also shared in abundance, but I probably have quite a few more. I'm definitely a man who makes mistakes all the time, but like to think of myself as always seeking improvement.

If we improve, may our first improvement always be our relationship with God. This will give give birth to further fruit in our lives. But none compares to our relationship with Christ.

A devotional of Jimmy Carter's

I am a big fan of former president Jimmy Carter. For those who disapprove of him...well, that's your problem and I feel bad for you.

Yes, during his presidency there was stagflation in the world economy, a big energy crisis, the Iran hostage crisis, etc etc....but there was also the creation of the Departments of Education and Energy, SALT negotiations, Panama Canal restorations, Camp David Accords, etc etc. No man is perfect, and often circumstances dictate a lot in our lives. His character remains untouched with his work with the Carter Center, Habitat for Humanity, the church, and more. I really respect the man and happily admit that he's been my role model among living and well-known people for the past few years. It's also very cool that he's a former Naval Officer and farmer (both of which are traditions I hold dear to my heart).

One of his devotionals in "Through the Year with Jimmy Carter":

May 1, 2005

A Simple Gospel

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel-which is really no gospel at all. Galatians 1:6-7

Suppose you were a brilliant philosopher in days gone by who wanted to create a believable religion. You wanted something that would be pure, honest, just, and fair, and would exemplify the finest aspects of human existence. It would be so perfect that no one in later days would question it. What would you put in this new religion?

As you sat down to write an outline, imagine that you knew all about ancient religions and theology and about what makes for good relationships between human beings. I'm guessing you would define a perfect religious person as one who believed in peace and justice and the alleviation of suffering, particularly for the poor; the one who believed in telling the truth; a humble person; a servant to others; generous; forgiving those who hurt him; compassionate and self-sacrificing. And then you might say that people had to be that sort of person to enjoy a positive relationship with God.

What a wonderful religion you would have created! it would have been inspirational, positive, challenging. It would have inspired people to lead a better life. Does that sound like the Christian gospel?

Absolutely not.

Throughout his writings, Paul made sure we understood that this is not the gospel. There is no relationship between doing good works and gaining salvation. Our salvation comes from the grace of God, freely, because the Lord loves us. In fact, trying to be better than others does not inspire humility in us, but the opposite: pride, self-satisfaction, a smug sense of superiority, and a wholly egocentric life. It also makes us feel self-reliant, able to live without God. And yet the temptation always exists to make "trying to be good" our religion.

Stated simply, the gospel message is, "We are saved by the grace of God through out faith in Jesus Christ." What we have to contribute is faith, or trust. Our good works should come as an indication of our gratitude and a desire to emulate the perfect life of our Savior.

O God, thank you for reminding me that I can never earn your favor or work for my salvation. Teach me to lean into you for life and godliness and to depend on the power of your Spirit to help me grow in the faith so that I might truly be a compassionate, patient, kind, gentle, loving person. May others see Jesus in me as I walk with him. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Which Laker are you?

When a NBA team wins a championship, a championship ship year video compilation is created by the respective team and sold to the public. My favorite championship video dedication is of the Lakers' 2000 championship year. This was the year when they had Shaq, Kobe, Glen Rice, Ron Harper, Brian Shaw, Robert Horry, Derek Fisher, Rick Fox, Phil Jackson, and many others.

There's one sequence that imbedded itself in my mind. The Lakers were in the midst of a come back in which all the role players contributed and the team would win. In the commentary, Rick Fox shared something along these lines:

We know we have two superstars (Shaq+Kobe) and this team is centered around those two guys. But it's up to us to be a Shaq or a Kobe for a few minutes of every game. No, we can't keep it up for more than a few minutes...but it doesn't matter. We give it our all in the short time we're given, and do what the teams needs us to do. We're role players, but we have our moments to shine like superstars.

You don't need to be a Shaq. You don't need to be a Kobe. It's perfectly fine to be a Rick Fox.

:)

Sore Loser-Monopoly Deal Edition

When my sister came home for the weekend, I challenged her to a friendly game of Monopoly Deal. For the past year I've been pretty dominant, probably winning 15 of 20 games. But the thing is that this is the case when there are 3 or more people, so I'm able to read and predict a lot more from people's reactions. Playing with 2 people requires you to have a different set of expectations and limits you in strategic game play. Regardless, we played 4 games with my sister winning 3. My sister is really competitive, so she stated at the end that she's back to her winning ways of dominating me. Being very defensive, I pointed out that I would dominate her in 3+ player games, and that her wins were the result of lucky hands (each of her winning hands had deal breakers, just say nos, and most of the 2 card monopoly properties).

Why couldn't I just let her have her moment of winning? Why couldn't I congratulate her on her wins, and then just move on? It's not like the outcome of Monopoly Deal dictates any important decisions in my life or has any affect on how I live my life after the game. My immature response to my sister's wins revealed to me the need for me to acknowledge others' "wins" and celebrate wins with them. Another person's win does not mean I am worse off. Ridiculous. If you lose, then you lose, get better, and try again. You can't win all the time, but when you do win, let's all celebrate. This simple game of Monopoly Deal provided a means for me to once again find an area in which I needed rebuke.

Childhood Summers-Why I don't play piano

Before I go off and forget my childhood memories, I've made it a point to write down things here and there. Well, this post will be dedicated to my childhood summers.

This must have happened 3 or 4 times... near the end of a school year in elementary school, my mother would sign me up for piano lessons or another arts & crafts workshop (ceramics, creative writing, animation, etc)...expecting me to continue into the class in the summer.

However, summer would begin.

Almost every summer I went either to Wagon Train camp or my cousin's house. It was the highlight of my life every year.

Wagon Train Camp

At Hume Lake, I would go to camp with a church friend and would re-unite with fellow campers year after year. From sunrise to lunch, we would participate in camp activities: creative arts, singing, cleaning, group sports...then the fun would begin. Every day after lunch until dinner was free time. With our parents loading our store credit, we would head to the camp store for ice cream. Then whatever we wanted to do was next. This included kayaking, bb gun shooting, archery, slingshotting, giant swing (on which i almost fell off once), zip line, tag, swimming, etc etc. Basically, a boy's paradise. Of course there were the girls, who congregated among themselves...and I have to admit I had a crush on one girl for 3 straight summers. Gosh, she was beautiful. With acres upon acres available to us, our games of capture the flag went for hours as there were an endless number of hiding places. We had built tunnels under the water to travel (I know, impressive), and my team won every time :) At dinner we would get mail from home (my parents never sent me anything...but my friend's parents sent me things from time to time lol). Gosh, wagon train camp was the best. We slept in actual wagon trains with counselors telling scary stories every night (I'm still bitter). Recently I found a camp picture of everyone together (last day goodbyes), and it's pretty funny because I was always the only asian every time. Of course there was drama at camp...gossip of which counselor has a crush on whom, which guys are the wimps, which girls are the prettiest, etc etc. It was at camp where I learned how to make lanyards, shoot arrows, and built teepees from scratch. I love hume lake.

Cousin's House

Now, usually camp was followed up by a couple weeks at my cousin's house in Lancaster. These were my favorite cousins...one was a few months younger than me, another 2 years younger, and another 4 years....all boys. We always had a blast. If you don't know Lancaster, it's basically a desert. My cousins had bb guns, dirt bikes, go-carts, and a boxing gym in the garage. We would shoot birds, burn black widows + egg sacs, race dirt bikes, and beat each other up. Every day someone would cry. Of course not me or Richard (the one a few months younger than me). When it was too hot outside, we would watch movies inside (they had a walk-in closet filled with VHS tapes...my favorite was Little Rascals), play video games, or play with their pets (python, hedgehog, and a snake we caught one time). When my aunt came home we pretended to study (basically, I brought out a chess board and challenged everyone). But it was basically wake up, have fun, eat, and have more fun.

Other summers were either spent playing video games, trips to the library, or playing with neighbors. My parents tried to make me study once...then never tried again lol.

Although I can't play piano nor make pretty ceramic pieces, I will always look back on those childhood summers with a huge smile.

Sports and Dreams

Again, another random post for the purpose of documenting my thoughts for future laughter.

My relationship with basketball. In the latter stages of elementary school, my dream was to be an NBA player. Some kids may say this, but are not serious. I was totally serious. From 4th grade to 7th grade I would dedicate 3 hours every day to practicing my dribble (left + right), post game, and outside game. Defensive drills were done with my dog as I worked on running backwards and laterally. Finally, when my dad would come home I would challenge him to a couple games of one on one. Every day. As I practiced, I visualized myself the star player for the Los Angeles Lakers, averaging 20 points, 10 rebounds, and 10 assists. Every night I would study my folder of basketball cards, and to this day I can recite a lot of veteran NBA player statistics. Since my mom had cut off cable, I would listen to Chick Hearn describe every Lakers game. My mood ended up becoming a reflection of how the Lakers were playing. You have no idea how estatic I was when the Lakers won the 2000 championship. I have to admit, with those countless hours I became very confident and really good. By the time I reached 6th grade, I believed myself to be the best basketball player at my school (I'm pretty sure others would agree too). Eventually everyone else became taller and faster, and I became more and more dedicated to my studies. These days if I'm lucky, I will play 3 times a year. So, were all those countless hours dedicated to basketball worthless? NO NO NO.

Basketball has taught me many things, as I am sure sports has done for many people.

1) Practice and hard work is key to becoming better.

2) People who are flashy and offensively gifted are not always the people I want on my team.

3) Good things happen for teams with players who play their heart out.

4) A lot of facades fade away when playing...you get a real glimpse of how a person really is when you watch them play basketball.

5) Don't take things too seriously. You don't need to win every time.

Although I don't play basketball as much as I used to, I still enjoy watching and analyzing people play. This is why I will always be a basketball fan.

Current pursuits:

Running + Jiu-jitsu

Running is very personal. Everyone runs for different reasons. My reason is simplicity. When running, everything becomes simple. It's you versus the trail. I don't have time to think about outside issues because I must concentrate on what is directly in front of me. Losing focus usually leads to you falling or not challenging yourself. When the fatigue takes over, I love it. It's strange, but I like to embrace the SUCK. At this point, it's a test of your resolve. Running at night is preferred by me because it allows me to unplug from the day.

Jiu-jitsu is chess with the body. I've fallen in love with this martial art because I can see how I've grown from practicing it. When rolling, you are often put in many high pressure situations (come on, you are about to be choked or a limb is on its way to be broken), so I've noticed how I've become much more calm in these situations. Jiu-jitsu is about finding a way to counter, execute, and utilize what's given to you with efficiency. Practicing this martial art has also given me confidence in myself should I ever be physically attacked by anyone. Yes, having earned a 2nd degree black belt in taekwondo should give me confidence, but learning jiu-jistu is on another level.

I'm a big fan of physical activities because of the awesome fun and the lessons they teach us.

Steak & Raisins

Steak and raisins...what could these two possibly have in common to warrant inclusion in the same sentence?

Childhood.

I despised steak and raisins in my youth. And I still despise raisins to this day.

Steak

It was the summer before 3rd grade at a winter camp with my family. The main dinner item on the menu: steak. So, without other choices, I decided to stand in the line headed out to the BBQ pit for the grilled steaks. When my turn came, a piece of charred meat was slapped onto my plate. It was well-done. My mom had to cut the steak for me, and I distinctly remember saying to myself: I will never eat steak again. This piece of charred meat does not even compare to juicy burger patties (my favorite was the whopper) or any other meat I had eaten up to that point in my life.

This all changed when I took a trip to Sizzlers in 8th grade with my family. Remember, for 6 years I had refused to eat steak as the thought of it disgusted me. I decided to give it another shot, and ordered the sizzler steak and grilled shrimp combo. Changed my life. I remember biting into the juicy (at that time) medium steak and supplementing it with succulent shrimp and bbq sauce. From that point forward Sizzler's has always had a special place in my heart, and I love to eat steak.

Raisins

Recently I've been getting a lot of flak for not eat raisins. Whether in cereal, yogurt, bread, dessert...I just despise raisins. Even after learning they were dried grapes (I love grapes), it had no effect...the thought of raisins makes me cringe. So why?

In elementary school I always looked forward to Halloween. The one day I get to stock pile candy and eat for the next 2 months. All the snickers, reeses, milk ways, butterfingers, baby ruths, sugar babies, etc etc I could eat. Whenever I came upon Almond Joys or candy corn, any smile I had vanished. And whenever I came across a small red box of Sun-maid raisins I became infuriated. I want candy, not these weird little thingies! And for weird reason, to this day I hate raisins. Sometimes I will randomly eat them, and say to myself...they don't taste bad at all. But when I remember it's a raisin I spit it out. Strange. Perfect example: My former co-worker brought me a delicious medley of dried pineapple, chocolate, almonds, peanuts, cashews, and ....After eating a handful, I spit out the little dried fruits because I believed they were raisins. They turned out to be dried blueberries! After realizing this, I ate the delicious mix freely.

I never thought it strange to dislike raisins until recently. Just shows the influence of perception on our everyday lives.

We all have strange childhood memories that have faded or continue to affect us to the present.

Chaotic organization.

Golden Silence

People tend to be very uncomfortable with silence.

And empty spaces.

But empty spaces and silence can say a lot more than many words.

Communication is much more than the diction that somehow makes its way out of your mouth. From tone of voice, facial movements, hand movements, speed of delivery, pauses, etc etc...communication is so much more complex than the actual words. After having had led many workshops, classes, and discussion sections, a common theme is the discomfort people have with silence. To be honest, I am still uncomfortable with it, but much more understanding than when I started to speak publicly. Pauses give moments of contemplation and even simplicity. Better to say nothing than something that discourages or a bunch of empty words. I can often fall victim to empty words...and must catch myself. Remember, more can be said with less. Try to become more comfortable with silence. Hey, with all the input we experience every second...we are in danger of being inundated with catalysts that may end up starting nothing. Be happy with silence.

That being said...

So I just finished the book Unbroken. Recommended from a lot of friends, specifically my friend Cho, I finally came around to read it. A story of potential, triumph, disaster, torture, reconciliation, and triumph again....this is a book I would recommend anyone to read.

To end:

Ecclesiastes 3 1:8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

3a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.